


My Chem Oneshots

by Justbeyourself205



Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album), My Chemical Romance
Genre: All frerard, Best Friends, Bottom Frank Iero, Cheating, Divorce, Getting Together, Help, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Memory Loss, Mental Health Issues, Old Friends, Pining, Post-Divorce, Sexuality Crisis, There’s too much to cover ahhh, Top Gerard Way, Usually idiots in love, because I hate the reader inserts, most of these are old, oneshots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:13:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29628918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justbeyourself205/pseuds/Justbeyourself205
Summary: Some oneshots I’m literally pasting over to here because I don’t want to lose them due to the whole Wattpad thing.Don’t know if I’m gonna continue this or not.
Relationships: Frank Iero & Ray Toro & Gerard Way & Mikey Way, Frank Iero/Gerard Way, Fun Ghoul/Party Poison (Danger Days), Mikey Way/Pete Wentz, Ray Toro/Mikey Way
Kudos: 7





	1. Dying To Happen

Frank flicks Gerard's arm, making the redhead look at him, "What?"

Frank simply looks at him, "Nothing."

Gerard turns on his side, pausing the game, "No, you want something."

Frank raises his eyebrows, "No, I don't. Go back to playing your game."

The older boy smiled at him, "You sure?"

Frank's heart skipped a beat at the smile and he hid his face in Gerard's arm, "Positive."

The other boy continued his game, turning back over on his stomach, "You want to play?"

The short boy scooted closer, so their sides were touching. Gerard's arms are hanging over the side of the bed, clutching the remote as he fought off zombies. He shrugged, "I'm fine, Gee."

The redhead hummed. Frank spots a marker on the floor, picking it up and examining it. Just a simple black marker. He uncaps it, Gerard not paying attention. He barely writes the F on his friend's arm before he's being pushed away with a, "What the hell, Frank!"

Frank sighs, giving him puppy eyes, "You're never gonna get tattoos so let me draw one!"

Gerard tries to rub off the marker on his arm, which doesn't even smear at all, "It's gonna take forever to come off."

"Tattoos are permanent."

The redhead shoves him lightly at that, making him laugh. Frank climbs up on Gerard, pushing his friend on his back so he could settle on his stomach, "Then I have to tattoo by force."

The older boy laughs and doesn't fight as Frank continues writing on his arm.

Finally the short boy exclaims, "Done!"

Gerard looks at his arm, seeing the works 'Frank's Bitch' written in dark letters against his pale skin, "I am not your bitch."

Frank wiggles on top of him, "You look like my bitch in this position."

The redhead flips them over so that he was hovering over Frank, hand tangling in his dark hair, "I'm pretty sure you'd be my bitch Frank."

Frank winks playfully, "Anytime you want, sweetheart."

Gerard pushes himself up, "Fucking virgin."

The short boy giggles out a, "at least I didn't lose mine to Bert."

The redhead tickles him, making him laugh harder, "Shut up, at least I'm not still a virgin."

Frank wraps his legs around his best friend's waist and says, "I know."

——

Gerard's acting weird. He shrinks away from Frank when he sits next to him. He seems distracted sometimes and he hasn't been drawing as much. Not since Frank wrote on his arm. The short boy looks over at him as they study together, "You okay?"

The redhead blinks rapidly, "What? Yeah."

The dark haired boy looks at him closely, "Are you sure?"

Gerard frowns, "Of course."

Frank pokes his cheek, "That's not a good expression to make while telling me you're okay."

Gerard swats his hand away and smiles, but only slightly, "I'm fine, Frank. I promise."

Frank grasps his hand and squeezes it, "You can talk to me about anything, you know that right?"

The tall boy looks back down at his work, "I know, Frankie."

——

Frank sees it for the first time when they're laughing and running around the kitchen. Bruises on Gerard from his stomach to lower in his skinny jeans. Frank stops, floored.

Gerard is still grinning and the short boy quickly grabs him, pulling him close. His hands go down, pulling up his best friend's shirt and raising his eyebrows, "Who did this?"

The redhead's smile instantly disappears, "Nobody. I fell."

He makes sure to hide his anger. Not anger at Gerard, just whoever had hurt him, "You didn't fall. Who the fuck did this?"

His best friend's eyes widen and Frank can practically see him trying to come up with an excuse. He holds him tighter, letting his hold on his shirt drop. Finally the redhead sighs and softly says, "Bert."

Frank sees red but he tries to contain himself, though he can tell Gerard sees his rage, "I'm going to fucking kill him."

He lets go of Gerard. The taller boy's eyes widen in terror, "No, Frank, he didn't mean to. He-"

"No! You can't accidentally hurt someone like that, Gee!"

Gerard's hands tremble and Frank easily takes them, "He won't do it again. He swore."

The dark haired boy frowns, "He swore he wouldn't hurt you in the first place."

"Don't hurt him, please."

Frank is surprised at his own calmness, "Why do you even stay with him? You should have left as soon as he raised his hand to you."

The taller boy crumbles at that, tears filling his eyes, "You wouldn't understand."

"Make me understand then."

Gerard clutches his hands tightly and he seems to shrink into himself, "You don't know what it's like to feel unwanted, Frank. It gets lonely and sometimes it's worse than physical pain."

Frank grabs his friend's waist suddenly, hooking his fingers in the loops of his jeans, "Room, now."

Not that the redhead had an opinion anyway, he was practically dragged.

Frank leads him down the stairs, pushing him down on the bed. His best friend looks up at him with wide eyes, laid on his back with Frank between his spread legs, looking pretty even with tears falling down his cheeks. The short boy's heart aches at the sight of the bruises revealed from his shirt riding up.

They simply look at each other for a second. Frank doesn't think Gerard's ever seen him this upset and he's never seen Gerard this upset. He begins shakily, "Don't ever think nobody wants you."

Gerard looks up at him and doesn't speak.

"You're my best friend. I want you. I want you here with me and not off being hit by someone you're only with because you're lonely. Don't be lonely. You have me, and Mikey, and Pete. If you feel unwanted, we'll make you feel wanted. We aren't here just because we go to the same school. We want to hang out with you and be around you."

Gerard smiles softly, "But not like how I want."

Frank sighs in exasperation, "Then tell me what you want."

His friend bites his lip, thinking it over, "I want.. I want somebody that I can tell when there's something that's bothering me. And they'll comfort me. I want somebody to cuddle with when I feel sad. I want somebody to spend rainy days with and wake up next to."

Frank smiles at him, "Well I'm right here, Gee. I'd be more than happy to do any of those things with you, if it makes you happy."

Gerard furrows his eyebrows, immediately grabbing onto Frank's shirt, yanking him forward, "And somebody to cry with."

Laughter bubbles in the dark haired boy's chest as he climbs on top of his best friend. He leans down onto him, nuzzling his neck, "Anytime you want."

——

Frank groans at the feeling of Gerard grabbing onto the back of his shirt and tugging. He rolls over in bed, relaxing into his friend. The redhead whines, "You're gonna make me tired again. We need to get up."

Frank sighs, "Later. Like, three more hours."

"It's already twelve."

"Well, fuck time then, I'm still tired."

Gerard doesn't say anything else, instead cuddling into Frank.

-

They wake up to Mikey shaking them. Frank groans, pushing his hands away so he can sink back into the warmth that is Gerard. Mikey sighs, "Guys, it's like four. Don't you need to start getting ready?"

Frank suddenly remembers and mumbles, "Oh yeah, it's my birthday." He's 17 as of today. Gerard can even make him forget his birthday apparently.

Gerard mumbles something that doesn't sound like words into the dark haired boy's shirt. Mikey sighs and says, "I made coffee."

The redhead immediately perks up at this, looking up with bright eyes, "Coffee?"

Mikey nods, "Coffee."

With that, they're left alone again. Gerard climbs over Frank to get out of bed, making the short boy whine. The older boy stands ungracefully, pulling on his arm, "Come on, Frank, get up."

Frank whines again, making Gerard give up and simply pick him up. Gerard is warm and he grabs onto him easily. His best friend carries him upstairs, where Mikey is slowly kissing Pete.

Gerard pats his brother's back lightly and says, "Gross, go do that somewhere else."

Mikey looks beyond annoyed, especially since Gerard is carrying a sleepy Frank. Pete laughs though and repeats the phrase back to them.

Gerard makes himself a cup of coffee, setting Frank on the counter. The short boy hums sleepily, taking the redhead's coffee and taking a sip. Mikey speaks, "Shouldn't you guys start getting ready? It's pretty late."

Frank shrugs, "Everyone is going to be drunk, they won't even notice if we're late."

Gerard smiles at that, making another cup of coffee since Frank took his. The short boy jumps off the counter and the redhead can see instant regret flash across his face. 

He whines, "The floor is so cold."

Gerard laughs softly at that, "That's what you get for making me carry you."

Frank grabs his hand, gasping, "You're so warm."

With that, he easily wraps an arm around Gerard, making the taller boy blush, and takes a sip of his coffee. Mikey and Pete watch them and finally Mikey says, "You guys should just get married already. You're just like a newly married couple anyway."

They both flush scarlet and Gerard whines for his brother to stop.

Pete adds in, "Or at least fuck if you're not going to get married."

Frank slips away from under the redhead's arm and grasps his hand again, "Nope. Stop."

Then he drags him back down to the basement. They escape and a sense of relief rushes over both of them as soon as they're in the safety of the basement. Gerard immediately heads for the bed, wrapping himself in the warmth of his blanket. Frank goes to join him, sitting in his lap with his back against his chest.

They both sip their coffee, warm from one another. Gerard wraps an arm around him and mumbles, "You're so cold."

Frank merely leans back against him and hums, You're just like a newly married couple anyway. The thought makes Frank get up with a short, "I'm gonna go take a shower."

He can hear Gerard softly asking if he's okay. He turns back to the redhead, "Of course, Gee. I'd tell you if I was otherwise."

His shower is fast and scolding hot. He drys his hair, slipping on the bottoms to his costume and looking at the tattoo on his chest. Gerard doesn't know it exists. It's a flame over his heart and it simply says 'Hope'.

He slips on the shirt that goes with his costume. He's going to be a skeleton. Gerard chose to be a drag queen. It's the best in his opinion to have a birthday on Halloween.

Gerard is still sipping his coffee when Frank returns. The short boy leans over, pressing a swift kiss to his forehead, "You should go take a shower, it's gonna take time to do your makeup."

The redhead does as suggested, messy hair and hazel eyes. When he returns, Frank is stretched out on the bed, drifting off. Gerard tugs on his hand, "Come on, I've got to put on your face paint."

Frank looks up and his mouth goes dry. Gerard Way is in a fucking corset and skirt. He's surprised by how hot that is to him. The redhead grins at him anxiously as he lets his eyes wonder.

Then he stands, taking a seat at Gerard's office chair. He adores the way the taller boy seems so concentrated as he messes with the face paint. Frank likes his attention on him. The dark haired boy must have drifted off while watching the beauty in front of him because Gerard suddenly yanks his head back by pulling his hair. He's surprised by the fact that blood rushes south at the pain but he says, "Ow," anyways.

Gerard smiles kindly at him as if he hadn't just hurt him, "Well pay attention when I tell you to move your head."

The rest of the time passes by quickly and Gerard moves on with his own makeup. Finally the redhead draws Frank's attention from his phone, "Frank?"

Frank looks up and he can't help that his jaw drops. Gerard looks beautiful, his eyeshadow done perfectly and eyeliner barely around his eyes. He's put a light pink lipstick on his lips and god, it seems like all of Frank's blood is rushing south, "Oh."

Gerard seems to shrink into himself anxiously, "It's that bad?"

Frank's eyes widen at the fact that the redhead thinks it's bad, "No. No, Gee, that's a good reaction, not a bad one. So good I'm speechless."

The tall boy blushes darkly, "Help me?"

He holds up a pair of thigh highs and Frank can't blush because all his blood has rushed lower. He has a bad erection and he hopes Gerard won't notice. He stumbles to his feet, nearly tripping on his way over. He pulls down his shirt to cover himself as he settles on his knees in front of his best friend.

Gerard blushes down at him, "I can't bend in this."

Frank just takes the sock with a soft sigh. He puts it on the redhead, letting it go when his fingers brush his friend's thighs. He takes the other sock, putting it on Gerard, he lets his fingers rest on the redhead's thigh and his heart nearly stops at the way he seems to spread his legs for him.

They make eye contact and instantly separate, Frank pulling his hands back and Gerard closing his legs. The tall boy clears his throat, "Do you know how to use a curling iron?"

The dark haired boy wants to escape so he can get rid of his erection, which is starting to hurt, "Weirdly, I do." He stands, "I'm gonna go to the bathroom first."

Gerard smiles slyly as if he knows what for and Frank prays that he doesn't, "Okay."

The short boy leaves hurriedly. He makes sure he's fast so he doesn't raise suspicion. He can't help gasping his friend's name though. He makes sure his makeup isn't messed up before returning to the basement.

Gerard is laying back on the bed, back arched, the pale skin of his thighs on show. He's looking up at his phone, which he's holding up. Frank comes up and tugs his skirt down, "C'mon."

The redhead gets up and fetches the curling iron. Frank curls his hair slightly, making Gerard's look nearly finished. The taller boy grabs a pair of black high heels then they're on their way, grabbing Mikey and Pete on the way out.

Ray's party is loud, filled with some people that Frank doesn't even know, and has lots of alcohol. Perfect. The four of them go separate ways right away. Frank greets everyone, dances, drinks, having the time of his life.

He dances with girls and guys, with Pete and Mikey, with Ray. He's completely buzzed and he wants to dance with Gerard. His attention span is as short as a goldfish's though and forgets this three times.

Finally he spots the redhead, who's making out with Lindsey, some girl from art class. He feels hurt and it stings. Bad. He wants to cry and it feels like his heart has been crushed in two. But then he sees Bert, who pushes past to grab Gerard's arm and rip him away from the girl.

The dark haired boy puts his hurt aside at seeing Bert yelling at Gerard, who's eyes are wide in terror. Frank pushes his way closer, pushing Bert away from his best friend, yelling over the music, "What the hell are you doing?"

He stands between Bert and Gerard. Bert doesn't answer, immediately going and punching him. A hit. Frank lunges at him, tackling him. He gets to punch him once before the fight that's just beginning is stopped. Gerard grasps onto him and Bert is held back.

Ray looks to him for an explanation. He can't help but bitterly bite out, "He was hurting Gee!"

The man with the afro knows Frank wouldn't start a fight without good reason. He kicks Bert out without any more explanation. The short boy fights his way away from Gerard, he can feel the hurt welling up inside him and he easily dodges around him, running through the kitchen and out the back door.

He wants to yell and scream and throw a fit. He thought that the redhead had liked him. Instead he curls up where he can't be seen by anyone inside the house. Nobody else is outside.

He hides his face in his knees and can't stop the sob that escapes. He cries, alone outside in the cold, on his birthday. He doesn't care that he's messing up his face paint. This is certainly not his worst birthday ever but it's up there.

He can hear the screen open and he silences himself, sniffling quietly. He feels a hand on his back and a soft, "Are you okay?"

Mikey. He relaxes and leans into the touch, "No."

"Because of Bert?"

Frank looks up and it's obvious he's been crying, "No, Gerard."

Mikey furrows his eyebrows, "Why?"

"He.." How does he even begin to explain himself? "I.. I thought he liked me too."

"He does."

Mikey settles next to him and he sighs, "Apparently not. Before Bert showed up, he was making out with Lindsey."

Mikey is silent for a second, "Can we just go home?"

Frank's heart is too broken for that, "I think I'm going to go home.”

"Home home?"

He nods. His parents don't care about him so he's been practically living with the Ways. Now he just wants to go home. He can't face Gerard.

Mikey's face turns stern, "No, come on, we're getting Gerard and Pete and we're going home. Talk to him about it, you can't hide from him forever."

Frank's eyes fill with tears, "He's just going to tell me he doesn't like me like that and then he's going to go run off and find some girl. And- And, Mikey, I can't handle that."

The lanky boy stands and holds out his hand to help him up, "He won't. I promise."

Frank looks up and sees only certainty on his face. He sighs before taking his hand, being pulled up. Mikey goes off to find Gerard while Frank looks for Pete. He ends up finding the redhead though, who looks at him worriedly at seeing his tear stained face.

"What's wrong?"

Frank shakes his head, "We're going."

The taller boy goes to grab his hand, which he pulls out of the way.

"Let's go."

They find Mikey and Pete, talking in low voices too quick for Frank to keep up. Mikey drives them home since he's nearly completely sober. Frank's buzz is completely gone and his mind swirls with hurt and self pity and anxiety.

When they get home, the Way's parents are asleep and the house is silent. Frank quickly flees to the bathroom, Gerard rushing after him. The redhead barely gets there to stop the door from closing.

The shorter boy is trembling, "I need to get this face paint off."

Gerard sighs, "I need to get my makeup off as well, you don't have to be alone to do so. We need to talk about what's upsetting you."

Frank whines, "I can't."

"You can. You said you would."

He shakes his head, "Not about this."

The taller boy's eyes show his hurt, "But you can tell Mikey?"

Gerard pushes his way into the bathroom, closing the door behind him, and Frank doesn't stop him. They begin removing their makeup in silence. Halfway through, when Frank's makeup is half off, the redhead looks to him again, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Not nothing. Just tell me, it can't be so bad that we can't get through it."

He shakes his head again, "I don't want to."

"Just tell me. You're scaring me."

They simply look at each other. Gerard's distress shows clearly on his face. Frank cups his best friend's face, making the expression disappear, "It's really nothing."

Gerard sighs in irritation, "I don't like when you get like this. Is it Bert? Did he hurt you or attack you again? He didn't hurt me, I promise."

The short boy furrowed his eyebrows, still hold his friend's face, "No! No, it's not Burt."

"Then tell me what's got you so upset."

Frank drops his hands, "You kissed Lindsey." He turns away from the redhead, feeling his face burn at admitting it, "Okay? Happy now?"

Gerard stands there, dumbfounded for a second. Then he laughs, "You're so ridiculous." The dark haired boy looks at him again. "Frank, you're really clueless sometimes."

The short boy simply gawks at him.

He laughs again, grabbing his friend's arms and pulling him forward, "A drunk kiss doesn't mean anything, don't overthink me kissing Lindsey." The older boy presses a kiss to his cheek, "You're sweet."

——

They don't speak much about that night. Just a simple kiss on the cheek, Gerard's done it before but it was different that time. Frank feels like his heart is going to burst every time the moment replays in his head.

Now, he's made a bad decision. Letting Bert's words get to him isn't a good idea. Especially when Bert is with multiple friends. Frank will admit, he swung first but he regrets it now, on the ground, the older boy's hitting him from multiple directions.

Gerard yelling is what surprises him. Gerard never yells, he's one of those sweet art kids that is nice to everyone, everyone likes him so there's never any reason for him to yell. Frank isn't so lucky, quite a few people dislike him. Nobody really knows Gerard's gay though, which is a big game changer.

He's never seen Gerard so mad, who drops his backpack. The guys hitting Frank are just as surprised, having stopped in shock, especially Bert. Then the redhead's ex grabs the front of Gerard's shirt harsh.

Gerard swings hard, and Frank really has no doubt that he's stronger than Bert. Bert's friends are just as shocked as Frank and they flee because, really, nobody wants to hit the sweet art kid.

The taller boy shoves Bert, delivering a sharp kick to his side, "You can fuck with me, but don't you dare touch Frank."

The redhead helps Frank up, looking him over to make sure he's not too severely hurt. Then Gerard grabs both of their bags, leading Frank away from Bert by holding his hand. They get about halfway to the Way household before Gerard's dropping the bags on the floor and grabbing Frank, "Are you okay?"

The shorter boy is stunned, "You- I- yeah."

Gerard shakes his head, "Good because, fuck, my hand hurts."

Laugher bubbles up in the dark haired boy's chest, he grasps onto his best friend, "Thank you."

Gerard smoothes down his hair, "You don't deserve to be hit."

He looks up at him with a grin, "Technically, I hit first."

The redhead pushes him away, "Of course you did."

Frank lifts up his shirt, revealing forming bruises, "I already got punished for it."

They grab their bags and Gerard grasps his hand again as they walk. Donna Way is home, reading on the couch when they get home. She raises her eyebrows, "Why didn't you guys go with Mikey? He's been home for a while."

Her son shrugs, "We wanted to walk."

She catches sight of their fingers loosely entwined and smiles slightly, "Okay."

With that, they head downstairs to the basement. Gerard lays back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Frank hasn't climbed on the older boy's lap since his birthday but he does now, laying down with his cheek on his chest, "You okay?"

The redhead tangles his fingers in his best friend's hair, "I've never hit anyone before."

Frank hums, looking up at him, "You didn't have to."

Their faces are close, "Yes I did."

——

There's a dance at school. And Gerard is taking Lindsey and Frank is taking Jamia. And it's weird. Frank would love nothing more to dance with his friend all night, but then people would see and be mean to Gerard. So he dances with Jamia, to no slow songs though.

Jamia leads him over to where Gerard and Lindsey are talking. Lindsey sees them coming and she easily pulls Gerard up and out of his seat. Frank's date pushes him towards the couple, specifically his best friend, "You can dance with Gerard next."

The two of them simply look wide eyed at each other. Lindsey puts her hands on her hips, "It's obvious that you two are just dying to happen. So we thought we'd help move things along."

Oh. Frank knew it was weird when Jamia asked him to the dance, this must by why. He opens his mouth but Jamia cuts him off, "Just one song, at least, the next song."

Of course the next song is a slow song. The two girls disappear, telling them to go. They simply look at each other again, people rushing past them with their dates to dance. Frank can see couples slow dancing and feels that his palms are sweaty.

Gerard leans down so he can talk without having to yell over the music, "Want to go outside?"

Frank nods, grasping his friend's hand and letting him pull him out of the room that suddenly feels too small. They stand outside, close due to the cold, Frank pulling out a cigarette since he has a sudden craving for one. Gerard watches him, can't seem to take his eyes off of him. He sighs and takes a drag of his newly lit cigarette, "Well, that was weird."

Gerard hums, taking the cigarette so he can do the same, "Yeah.."

They can still hear the music. The redhead seems to have made a decision, taking the cigarette out of his mouth, leaning forward and pressing a light kiss to the shorter boy's lips. Frank's heart seems to have stopped and he can't breathe.

Gerard flushes, "Sorry."

Frank shakes his head, wrapping his arms around his friend's neck, and pressing a firm kiss on his lips. The redhead pulls away after a second, dropping the cigarette and putting it out. Then he wraps his arms around Frank's waist, leaning them back against the building, kissing him again. The younger boy seems to melt, hands tangling in his red hair.

He can't think, the two of them entangled like that. Eventually they reluctantly part to breathe, and as soon as their eyes meet they laugh shakily. Gerard sighs contently, "Guess they were right."

Frank smiles up at him, "You're not drunk, are you?"

"No, that was a completely sober kiss."


	2. Funeral

Gerard can't stand the way he feels like he is suffocating. She's gone, she's really gone. His grandmother is gone. The funeral is quiet and respectful and the get-together after is just to grieve.

He will admit, he is shocked to see Frank Iero at the funeral. The younger boy is the grandson of his grandmother's old friend. Someone he grew up with, him being a year older.

Frank once had a more punk look to him, but now his hair is cut short and his lip ring is gone. He wears a black button up and black pants, an outfit nearly identical to Gerard's own.

He hasn't seen Frank in years, they stopped talking. He still remembers that one night, when he leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to the shorter boy's lips. The night Frank had grabbed onto him and kissed him back like he was the thing keeping him alive. The last time they saw each other.

They didn't have sex, just kissed. Then Frank bolted and Gerard hasn't seen him since. Of course, Gerard was only figuring himself out at that time. It had hurt though.

But Frank didn't see him until the get-together. They both froze and looked at one another. Nobody knows about that kiss they shared. Nobody knows why they stopped talking.

Frank simply stares at him wide eyed. He's slimmed down since the dark haired boy has seen him last. They've both grown into their looks a lot more. Frank really is still quite handsome, possibly more so.

The step Gerard takes towards him is hesitant and uncertain. Then Frank is moving forward, grabbing onto him tightly and they simply hold each other.

—

The get-together lasts late into the night, everyone talking about old times. Frank ends up staying over. The younger boy bites his lip as Gerard gets the pull-out couch ready.

Frank mumbles a quiet, "Thanks."

Gerard nods and makes for the stairs, pausing at the first step. He is suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of guilt and need. Gerard turns around and looks Frank up and down, not being able to find words.

He wants to apologize. Or something. His expression is confused and pained, he's afraid of Frank's reaction to talking about it. He takes a deep breath, but stays by the stairs, hovering in case he needs an escape plan. There is a long pause and the silence between them grows thicker with questions neither of them are asking.

Frank looks as though he wants the ground to swallow him up. He's just staring at the floor.

Oh my god, just speak.

He can't find words, he's choking. He just simply walks shakily and sits on the edge of the bed. Frank sits next to him, awkward and sheepish. They don't look at one another. They stare at the stairs.

They turn to face one another, hesitantly making eye contact.

They breathe each other's air, right next to each other, and taste cigarettes and alcohol. They lean closer slowly and brush noses. Gerard closes his eyes, sighing besides himself and parting his lips. Suddenly, Frank flinches and jerks back, breathless despite it all. His hands run through his hair stressfully, looking torn. Do they really want to do this? Gerard sighs again, heart pounding at what almost happened.

Then, suddenly, Frank is in his face, kissing him chastely and dryly and quickly, without giving him a moment to close his eyes again. Frank breaks away and they both freeze, looking at one another for a moment with a mixture of misunderstanding and mutual want crossing their faces.

Then Frank blushes.

They crash their mouths together, hands on faces, on arms, on any skin they can get, desperate and grasping and needy, tugging at clothes and hair. With a moan from Gerard, they topple over onto the sheets.

They are a tangle of limbs, sweat, and snark. Cold feet kicking at the sheets, balled fists grasping at the covers, breaths quick and groaning and carrying cries of names and pleads.

They find a sense of compatibility and ecstasy, and Gerard finds himself going red any time he thinks of the noises Frank makes at every well-placed touch. The squirm of his body, the thrash of his legs, the curl of his toes, the feeling of his bitten nails dragging down his chest.

"So needy."

"I am not needy, Gee."

"You're needy, Sugar."

—

Frank is smoking on the couch.

"You're gonna get ash on the sheets," Gerard mumbles.

"Oh, it's the ash on the sheets you're worried about," Frank teases and purposefully blows smoke in Gerard's face.

They lounge naked under the covers, feeling waves of contentment tingle through them. Frank has never looked happier, more blissed out. Gerard's mind is reeling. He isn't sure what to say. Maybe just cuddle instead of stressing over it? Seems like a good idea.

He lets his fingers run slowly over Frank's chest, until he's pulled close and a kiss is pressed to his lips. He sighs contently, nuzzling his old friend's shoulder.

——

He wakes up to a loud, "I fucking knew it!"

He turns to see Mikey laughing at them, going pale. He jumps out of bed and scrambles into his pants, grabbing his shirt from the floor and pulling it over his head. Mikey laughs at his haste to the point where he's nearly falling over. Something odd is swirling in his head. Happiness? He doesn't know.

Frank wakes, reaching for him sleepily. He crawls back onto the bed, pressing his lips to the half asleep boy's, "Get up, Frankie. We've been found out."

The younger boy hums, getting up and putting on his clothes quickly as well. As Frank pulls his shirt over his head, Gerard's mother is coming down the stairs to see what all the noise is about.

Her and Mikey are just staring at him, and he is suddenly aware of his dishevelled hair and the red flush of his cheeks. And clothes covered in wrinkles. He notices the dark purple bite marks and claw marks trailing down into his shirt and he turns scarlet. He can still taste Frank on his lips and his tongue and he reeks of him.

It's not exactly hard to figure out what they did. His mother doesn't even know he's gay. He looks at Frank for help, who doesn't say anything. He figures he owes an explanation but he doesn't have one, "Um.."

His mother sighs, "Okay. I'll let it pass, I know you're grieving and if experimenting is your way of coping, then that's okay."

He furrows his eyebrows, "No. Mom, I'm not experimenting."

Mikey cuts in, "Yeah, mom, Gerard's been gay for a long time."

She looks at Gerard for confirmation, who just stares at the ground. Then she simply says, "Okay. Frank, would you like breakfast?"

Frank smiles weakly at her, "Yes, please."

Then she walks into the kitchen, as if nothing has happened. It leaves Gerard beyond confused and he looks at Mikey, who simply shrugs.

Frank pulls him down into a kiss, "It's fine. It'll be fine."

The redhead nods, "You're staying for breakfast and then we're going to talk about this. No running off."

Frank sighs, "Okay. It's about time we talk about it."


	3. In A Heartbeat

Of course Frank tried to stay awake in order to greet Gerard. But, damn, he's tired. He just finished the last show on his tour last night and didn't sleep on the way over here like a dumbass.

He's lounging on the couch of Gerard's hotel room because, well, they're friends and decided to hang out. He wishes he had slept. He tried the ridiculous tasks of laying on the couch with his head hanging upside down, drinking coffee, drinking alcohol, and counting loudly to himself.

None of it helped. He couldn't help it when he's being shaken awake by Gerard, who looks tired as well. He lets a lazy and sleepy smile cross his face and he mumbles out a soft, "Gerard.."

He wraps his arms around the other, nuzzling into his neck, movements slow. The redhead in his button up and blue slacks holds him back, having just finished with a show not long ago at all, "Sleeping already?"

Frank sighs into his shoulder, "Yeah, I'm really tired, I haven't slept."

Gerard nods in understanding, rubbing his back soothingly, "Okay, I think we should both get some rest."

Frank knows that Gerard doesn't expect them to sleep separately at all. He's a big cuddler, which annoys a lot of people. He's touchy, a definite fan of physical affection, always sure to make everyone feel loved.

He's also clingy at times but he knows that Gerard doesn't mind. He's never minded. Especially when they're snuggled together in the dark, warm from each other.

The two of them being like this has never offended Jamia or Lindsey, both women know that he's just always like that. They've always been like that.

Jamia doesn't care too much about his love of cuddling, though she's not much of a cuddler herself. Frank doesn't know if Lindsey and Gerard snuggle, maybe he doesn't want to know.

They let one another go, both respectfully keeping their eyes to themselves as they change. But Frank can't help when his eyes wander. He pretends they don't.

In no time the lights are off, Frank wrapped around Gerard like a victory flag. They're facing each other, gazing tiredly. It all seems too intimate. Everything they do feels to intimate. Maybe it is intimate, Frank reasons but doesn't know.

They'd only casually mentioned their meeting to their wives. They've been on close watch since the kiss incident. It really wasn't anything, just an absentminded mistake.

When they were saying their goodbyes after Frank and Jamia and the kids had come to visit, Gerard had leaned down and kissed him. It was just a peck, a seeming forgotten habit from another time.

Frank had froze, mind blank and body frozen, his heart racing. He thinks they all were shocked. Gerard had apologized a million times, because he obviously hadn't meant to.

Frank's lips tingled at the memory. The memories of being on stage and the sweaty kisses, the teasing kisses Gerard would give him whenever he left the room. Memories of being taken care of in the older man's bunk on the tour bus when he was sick.

Fingers brushing a stand of hair out of his face bring him back to reality. He can feel Gerard's breath as he speaks, voice low and red hair messy in the dark, "What are you thinking about?"

He shrugs, "Things."

His best friend smiles at him through the dark, "What things?"

"You. The past."

Gerard hums, "What about the past?"

"That kiss."

The older man groans and hides his face, "Don't mention that, I'm still sorry."

Does Frank dare to say what he thinks? Yes, apparently he does, "Sorry that you kissed me or sorry that our wives were around to see it?"

Gerard doesn't move, "I love my wife, Frank."

"I know, that wasn't the question."

"What do you want me to say, Frank? That I wish I wasn't married just so I can kiss you? Because I'm not going to say that."

Frank has that old self hate crushing his chest, "What? No. I'd never ask you to say that. I just.." he furrows his eyebrows, "I don't know, Gee. I don't know why I asked that, I'm sorry."

Gerard sighs, wrapping his arms around him, "It's fine, Frankie," the redhead kisses his temple, "Love you."

He snuggles up to him, "Love you too."

—

The next morning Frank wakes up to being held against Gerard's chest. The redhead's hand has dipped into his shorts and boxers, resting against his bare hip. His shirt has come up, revealing a lot of skin covered in ink.

He shivers, noticing the blanket is down by his feet. But he's so comfortable against his friend. He whines, struggling to pull the blanket up to cover him.

It wakes Gerard, who sleepily untangles himself to help. Frank pouts when Gerard doesn't return to holding him, rolling over to grasp his friend's hand and tug him close, wrapping the other man's arm around him again.

He shifts back, so he's right against Gerard's warm chest. The redhead simply hums, pulling him impossibly closer. He mumbles a, "five more minutes," which earns him another hum.

—

He wakes up again with Gerard's hand touching his bare skin. This time he's slipped his hand under his shirt, splaying his hand against chest. He's still shaking and sweaty from his dream, hoping it goes unnoticed by the other man.

His mouth tastes like sweat and everything Gerard. It's almost as if he can still feel the fingernails digging into his hips and that soft red hair in his hands. His lips tingle at the remembrance of his dream.

It's not the first time he's had one, a wet dream about Gerard, but certainly the first time he's had one with the man in question sleeping next to him.

He always orgasms in his dreams and, though there's not a hint of who he was dreaming about when he wakes up, he still feels the pleasure and that post-sex tiredness. So, pretty much, he's been getting off to having sex with his best friend in his dreams.

He hasn't told Jamia about it yet. He really doesn't think he ever will, she'd probably divorce him so he could follow his secret desires because she wants him to be happy. But he is happy where he is, with his wife and kids, so he's decided not to say anything.

He yawns, turning over to hide his face in the other man's shirt. Gerard's hand ends up on his back, spread between his shoulder blades, bringing his shirt up enough to reveal his stomach and lower back.

The redhead adjusts to the position, sliding his hand down to rest on his bare lower back instead, pulling him so that they're pressed against each other. A bad time for Frank to realize he's definitely hard from his dream.

He separates their hips, tucking his head under his best friend's chin. Gerard makes a small noise at the movement, pulling Frank close again. The younger man says a small, "fuck," getting friction from the movement.

He fully moves away from Gerard, making him wake up and look at him sleepily. The redhead furrows his eyebrows and yawns, "Is something wrong?"

Frank stretches, erection obvious, "Yes, Gee, you're pressing on my dick."

Gerard smiles at the bluntness, used to it at this point, worse has been said, "It's not my fault you're so desperate."

He doesn't answer, simply laying and taking up most of the bed, no shame. His best friend's smile softens into a tired expression and he gets up. The older man stretches, shirt riding up to reveal a small amount of that pale unmarked skin.

Frank's mouth goes dry and it makes him want to curl up and die. He has a wife, he has no right to like Gerard. Besides, they've been friends forever, Gerard doesn't want him. If he does then Frank thinks he should've made a serious move a long time ago.

He briefly wonders what he would've done when he was much younger if Gerard would've kissed him anywhere offstage. Probably shove him off and claim that he's not gay, he thinks. He scoffs at himself. He scoffs at his old denial of him liking boys.

Boys are pretty great, he thinks to himself. They've got the wide shoulders, the slim waist, the crooked smile, the hazel eyes and red hair.. His thoughts drift as he stares at the ceiling, hearing Gerard in the little hotel kitchen searching for coffee.

He stretches sleepily, feeling the aching of his erection and deciding to get in the shower. He makes his way out of the room, going through his bag for a pair of clothes. Gerard watches him from the kitchen, mug in hand.

He finds some clothes that don't seem completely dirty and heads to the bathroom. He returns from his shower with messy wet hair, heading straight for the coffee. Gerard still watches him.

Finally the older man speaks, "What did you dream about?"

Frank freezes, not saying anything for a second. He shifts on his feet, looking down to hide his red face, "Well.. I have these dreams sometimes. They're really nothing, they're just about things that I desire."

More like a certain person he desires. Gerard tilts his head, thinking this over, "Why?"

Frank shrugs, still not making eye contact, "I don't know. They won't go away."

"Maybe they'll go away if you get those things you desire."

Frank's face heats up more at that, "Yeah, maybe."

Gerard looks at him, curiosity in his eyes, "As long as they're within reason. What do you desire?"

Frank runs a hand over his face, willing his blush away, "That's really none of your business."

Gerard grins teasingly, "That bad, huh?"

Frank shrugs again, not smiling back, sipping his coffee. He suddenly looks up, "You think if we met when we were younger things would have panned out differently?"

Gerard thinks this over, "Yeah, maybe.."

——

Frank is so happy when he gets home, being greeted by his kids, wife, and dogs. It surprises him how fast that happiness leaves. Before long all he can do is sulk and, sometimes when he's alone, cry.

Janis asks him a million times what's wrong but he doesn't have an answer for her. His children ask him what's wrong and he always tells them nothing. The dogs come for attention and all he can do it pat their heads a few times.

For a while his mind is blank. Then his conversation with Gerard blossoms in his head and doesn't leave. He doesn't have wet dreams about Gerard anymore, they've turned sweeter. He wakes up crying sometimes from dreams of Gerard holding him and kissing him.

He realizes that's what he desires most. He loves Jamia with all his heart and he hates when his brain adds but she's not Gerard to the end of that phrase. So he knows what's bothering him and he tries to get it to leave.

But he can't help wondering if Gerard's right. His heart betrays his mind and wonders if it would go away if he was unfaithful. Just once. It wouldn't mean anything (lies) and would just be so the dreams go away.

He can't touch Jamia anymore. When they touch he jerks away like he's been burned. He doesn't deserve her, not with his thoughts. He starts sleeping on the couch and they get in fights about his behavior.

Finally she sits down next to him and asks him, "Did something happen?"

He shrugs.

"Is it me? Did we just.. fall out of love?"

He sighs, sulking more. He does love her. But he loved Gerard first.

She frowns, "Is there someone else?"

He doesn't know the answer to that. Technically no. Only his mind has been unfaithful. He remains silent.

She gets irritated at that, "Frank! You have to talk to me! I need to know what's happening! What's wrong with you!"

The last sentence makes his heart jerk and that angers him too, "I don't want to talk to you! I have nothing to say!"

She crosses her arms, "I don't understand. What's with the sudden mood? You're worrying the kids."

He stands and begins walking out of the room, "I told you I have nothing to say."

"There is someone else isn't there?"

He turns so quickly, "No! How dare you accuse me of-"

The glare she sends him makes him shut up instantly. She sighs, "Who?"

He crosses his arms. Nobody. He's remained faithful.

She stands too, "Quit being childish and just tell me!"

He lets his arms fall in defeat, voice going quiet, "Nobody. I'd never do that to you."

They look at each other for a second, "Then why have you been so distant?"

"I'm thinking."

"About what?"

He shrugs because, really, he's not that sure. There's a war between his heart and his mind, and he doesn't know how to explain that.

Maybe all his problems will go away if he just does it.Then the dreams will end and he can be happy with his wife. He decides he'll try and get a flight out to Gerard soon, to try.

She lets her arms fall too, "You know, I see you crying sometimes."

Frank shrugs, "I'm allowed to cry."

"You never cry. I've never seen you cry in your sleep before. Something is bothering you, what's wrong?"

The question is more gentle now. He runs a hand through his hair and says, "I don't know."

She lets him go. He tells her he's going out to LA to see Bandit, since he hasn't in forever, and she lets him go. She tells him to be careful and try not to get sick.

He does give her a kiss then and heads out. He can't ever sleep well on planes and he wants to cry most of the way there. The Ways are already expecting him and he twirls Bandit around when she comes running to see him.

He feels bad when he hugs Lindsey. She doesn't deserve what he came here to do. Then he hugs Gerard, holding onto him tighter than usual. The redhead asks him how he's doing and Frank doesn't say anything.

He knows Jamia has been talking to them because they look him over carefully to make sure he's okay. He doesn't miss the meaning behind Gerard grabbing both his wrists after their hug, making sure there's so cuts there.

Gerard smiles brightly at him and he can barely muster up a little smile back. Bandit is very excited to see him, dragging him along to show him all her new action figures and toys and other stuff.

She even hands him a paper she drew for him, which makes him tear up. Upon seeing his tears, Gerard asks her to go play while the adults talk. They stand in the kitchen, Frank drumming his fingers on the counter nervously.

Lindsey smiles at him and asks him again, "How are you doing?"

He shrugs and smiles shakily. Not good. This whole dream and Gerard thing has destroyed him.

Gerard furrows his eyebrows, "Okay. Do you need anything, or are you just here to visit? Because just visiting is fine."

Frank takes a breath before saying, "Actually, I wanted to talk to you. Alone."

Lindsey smiles in understanding. Gerard nods, "Alright, we can talk in my room."

Frank follows him, rubbing his sweaty palms on his jeans. Gerard closes the door behind him and they both look at each other for a second. Gerard's eyes are so soft and caring, making Frank mentally prepare for them to turn angry.

He sighs, shifting and beginning, "You know how we talked about the dream thing?"

Gerard nods.

"They got worse. Well not worse, more like better. I want them to go away."

Gerard points to himself, raising his eyebrows, "And you need me?"

Frank wipes his palms on his jeans again, knowing that Gerard has no idea what's coming, "Yes, actually. They're.. about you."

Gerard freezes.

Frank continues on, "Do you think if I'd asked you out years ago, you would've said yes?"

"In a heartbeat. But Fr-"

He interrupts him, "I dream about being with you. I dream about kissing you."

Gerard freezes again, processing, before slowly saying, "Jamia told us that you cry in your sleep.. Do I make you cry?"

"I don't know why I cry."

Gerard frowns, "Well Frank, we can't just abandon everything to-"

"I know, I know. I just want the dreams to go away."

“What do you need me to do?"

Frank holds eye contact when he says it, "Kiss me. I think that will make them leave."

Gerard runs a hand through his hair, "But we both have wives, Frank. We can't just-"

Frank knows he keeps cutting him off but he doesn't care, "I know. I love Jamia and you love Lindsey, that's not gonna change. I just want the dreams to go away. Please."

Gerard thinks it over, "So that's all you want me to do? Just kiss you?"

Frank nods, waiting for anger or to be kicked out or something.

He doesn't expect when Gerard says, "Okay. I can do that."

He didn't know how tense he was until he relaxes, "Thank you."

Gerard nods, stepping closer. Frank didn't realize how terrified he is to actually do it. He worries that he'll crave Gerard's kisses more than Jamia's. Then he finds he already does.

The redhead tilts his chin up, leaning down, hazel eyes caring. Frank gasps when Gerard's lips finally meet his. It's barely a peck on the lips. They look at each other for a second, frozen.

A warmth spreads through Frank's entire body. He can't help it when he makes a soft noise and pulls Gerard into another kiss. Oh, it's better than his dreams. Gerard's lips are warm and slightly chapped, opening and willing their tongues to meet.

Frank groans, cupping Gerard's face with cold hands. Hands are on his waist and he can't find the will to stop. It was supposed to be one simple kiss but he wants a million more. 

Finally they part for a breath, Gerard immediately letting him go and saying, "There. There's your kiss."

It's out of breath and somewhat distant. Frank craves that warmth, his body aches for it. This was a mistake, the dreams are just going to be more intense. He feels numb.

How is he ever going to live without that? He doesn't feel like he can survive without having Gerard like that. He sinks to his knees on the floor, bending over so his forehead is touching the floor, hands over his face.

He hurts inside so badly. He wishes he had done that forever ago. He wishes he would've done that before Gerard ever met Lindsey. He's so stupid. He could've had Gerard if he had acted earlier.

He regrets and he hurts and he aches. He stays like that, in that position, not feeling himself worthy to stand up and walk back outside the room. Warm hands are touching him, urging him up out of the position.

He does let himself be lifted a little, then he simply clings to Gerard, squeezing his eyes shut. He's held back. He hopes for something special but the touch is simply friendly. He keeps his eyes shut and mumbles, "I'm sorry I love you."

——

Frank sleeps on the Way's couch, waking up full on crying. Before there were tears but never like this. He sits up, burying his face in his hands, continuing to cry.

This dream was different, it wasn't sweet like the other ones. It was Gerard pushing him away and telling him that he doesn't love him back. This dream was reality.

He finds he can't pull himself together. He makes himself lay back now, pulling the blanket up to his ear and letting the tears fall silently. He can't go on like this.

He gets found crying by Gerard, being soothed and talked softly to. He finally calms, falling back to sleep. This time it's dreamless. He rests peacefully for the first time in months.

——

When he gets back home he knows Jamia's a little disappointed that his mood hasn't gotten better. It got worse. He barely talks anymore and doesn't bother with waiting to be alone to cry.

Sometimes one of the kids will simply pet his hair, trying to soothe him, making him hold onto them tightly. He lets Cherry and Lily paint his nails sometimes, managing a smile for them.

Miles simply will sit next to him and read or do whatever. Frank knows that's his way of comforting him, always smoothing down his son's hair and holding him.

Jamia has given up on questioning him mostly. Sometimes when the kids are watching movies in the living room he'll lounge on the couch and talk to them. He still wakes up crying every morning though.

Eventually Cherry asks, "Dad?"

He hums, giving her a little smile.

She grabs his hand, "How do you know you love someone?"

Now, as much as Frank likes to believe she's still just a baby, she is a rather curious eight year old. He doesn't force the grin that forms, gaze turning dreamy and blissful.

She squeezes his hand, "Dad?"

He blinks, life pooling back into his eyes that hasn't been there in a while, "Hm? Oh. Well, when you see him or her you feel all these butterflies in your stomach."

She wrinkles her nose, "Butterflies?"

He smiles, "Yeah. They make your stomach feel all weird. And your heart skips a beat. You feel really nervous around them but safe, because they'd never let you get hurt."

She smiles, "Oh. Do you think I'll fall in love?"

He laughs, "Of course, everyone falls in love."

Lily has wandered over to listen in, "Do you love mom?"

"Yes, very much."

Miles is there suddenly too, "Did you love anybody before mom?"

Frank melts at that question, "Yeah."

Cherry jumps up and down, "What were they like?"

"Well.. he was beautiful. He had a nice laugh and he always made me laugh. I felt like.. together we could take over the world."

Lily smiles, "Who?"

Frank shrugs, "Nobody."

Miles frowns, "Do you still love him?"

Frank's answer is quick, "Yes. I don't think you ever stop loving somebody."

They all go quiet at that.

Frank smiles, warm at the topic, "Looks like you guys are stuck with me."

Lily hugs him suddenly and says, "That's okay."

Frank pulls Miles and Cherry into the hug too, squeezing them. Jamia has been listening too, leaning against the door frame. Their eyes meet and she raises her eyebrows in question.

The warmth that leaked into his eyes leaves when he remembers what he did. Jamia does question him again on the topic later, "Who?"

He hums in question, eyes glued to the television.

"Who was it?"

He doesn't look, "Nobody."

She nudges his leg to get his attention, asking again, "Who?"

He looks at her for a long second before looking back to the television, "What do you want me to say?"

"Just tell me who, I deserve to know."

"Deserve to know what?"

"The guy you talked about. You still love him."

He shrugged, "So?"

"I saw you when you talked about him. I get it now, you're in love with somebody else."

He frowns, looking at her, "I never said I didn't love you."

She sighs, "But not in the same way. You still see him, huh? Is that what you dream about?"

He resigns from the conversation, not answering.

She speaks shakily now, "I think we should break it off."

This gets his attention fast, "What?"

"I want a divorce."

His answer is feeble, "Oh."

"I mean, you're in love someone else and you won't even touch me anymore."

He doesn't answer. He doesn't care anymore. At this point he's just pleading for the sweet relief of death. He doesn't care anymore. It'll be good for them, he's a cheater and he loves Gerard and neglects her, it'll be good for her to get away from him.

It stays silent and he doesn't look at her.

Then he suddenly just says, "Gerard."

"What?"

"It's Gerard. I'm in love with Gerard."

He drags his eyes away from the screen to look at her. She remains silent though.

He sighs, "I tried. I tried so hard to get rid of it. But I can't, it's been with me for so long."

"You loved him when you married me?"

"No. I loved him when he married Lindsey."

She crosses her arms, "Well then you sure got over him fast."

He looks up at the ceiling and closes his eyes, "I hate him. I hate him because I can't have him."

She suddenly seems to understand, "You dream about being with him."

He keeps his eyes shut, "Sometimes. Other times I dream about how I can't be."

Jamia stays silent for a second then says, "He loves you too."

He scoffs, "Yeah right. Not like how I do."

She surprises him by grabbing his shoulders and shaking him, making his eyes open, "Frank.. you're so oblivious sometimes. He loved you way before he married Lindsey."

"Then why'd he marry her?"

She sits back and crosses her arms, "After I divorce you, you better walk right up to him and slap him. Then kiss him because he loves you, he wants to be with you. He just doesn't know you want to be with him."

Frank scowls, "That's a bad idea."

She looks to the television, "Well I'm talking to Lindsey."

He jumps up, "No! That's a terrible idea!"

She scoffs, "She knows it too."

He sits back down, slouching, "I don't want to ruin his marriage."

——

Frank finds he doesn't feel too bad about being newly divorced, there's less guilt weighing him down. Living alone is weird, everything is so quiet. But then his kids spend the weekend with him and they drown out the silence.

Mikey eventually visits, stating that Ray and Gerard are coming too. This is a surprise to Frank but he's not against the idea. Mikey sits at the counter, watching him, "So, how are you? Okay?"

Frank smiles, "I'm doing okay."

Mikey seems to think that's weird but Frank doesn't care. They lounge around for a few days, occasionally writing music, waiting for the other two to show up. Ray gets there first, smiling at him and hugging him. They all chat until Gerard shows up.

According to Mikey, Lindsey and Gerard's relationship has been on the rocks lately. When Frank opens the door for Gerard they simply look at each other for a long second. They haven't been together since the kiss.

Frank definitely took note of Jamia's advice, slapping him and saying, "You're an asshole."

Gerard looks baffled at the reaction.

Frank pulls him down into a kiss, "Such an asshole."

Gerard hums at that, pulling Frank firmly against him. Frank wraps his arms around his neck, the two of them becoming more tangled with every second. He suddenly hears Mikey, not too far away, "Hey Frank, is it Gerard?"

They part, both dazed. Frank wipes his mouth, "Yeah, it's Gee."

Gerard gets to enter the apartment, cheek red, which makes Frank feel a little bad. The other two men hug Gerard in greeting and they're all united. Gerard's lips are a bit swollen from getting kissed so hard by Frank, his eyes bright.

Frank grasps onto his sleeve, the other three laughing and joking. He feels like it's too much to hope. Ray looks at Gerard, "You look like you've been through hell."

He laughs lightly at that, brushing the comment off. But Mikey looks between the two of them, squinting slightly, and Frank avoids eye contact.

——

Frank wakes up the next morning naked.. in bed with Gerard. Last night had been the first time in a long while that he spent the night with a man. How could he possibly resist when Gerard had climbed into bed with him late in the night and kissed him sweetly?

He sighs softly, nuzzling close to Gerard, who's also naked. The redhead pulls him impossibly close, kissing him and saying, "Good morning."

Frank smiles, "Good morning. Sleep well?"

Gerard squeezes him slightly, "I always sleep well when I'm with you."

Frank hums at that, letting himself touch the other's soft skin. Gerard lets him, simply holding him and relaxing into the touch. Frank speaks, hands stopping, "I'm sorry, I'm probably overwhelming you."

Gerard hums, smiling at him, "You're fine, Frank. Don't worry about it."

Frank looks at him, "But I don't.. is this a dream?"

He's immediately panicking, escaping from Gerard's arms.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be-"

Gerard sits up, watching Frank hurriedly put on his clothes, "Hey, no Frank, stop."

Frank is already practically in tears, "I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for? You're not dreaming, come here."

Frank freezes and bite his lip, now only shirtless. Gerard smiles a little at him, patting the bed.

"It's not a dream Frank."

Frank just sits, burying his face in his hands and groaning. But how can he know that? He hears shuffling from Gerard and then the redhead is urging him up and to his feet. Once standing, he's embraced and he mumbles against Gerard's shoulder, "I don't want it to be a dream."

—

Frank wakes up in bed alone, but still naked. He turns over and groans, burying his face in his pillow. He's so stupid for thinking he could ever get Gerard in his bed, he should've known it was a dream right away.

His blanket has fallen down to his waist, making him cold, and he groans again. Life really sucks. He drags himself out of bed, putting on some boxers and pants. He shivers when he remembers Gerard holding him.

He slides on a shirt and heads outside his room. Mikey, Ray, and Gerard are all already awake. Mikey smiles, "Sleep well?"

Frank sulks, "No."

Gerard sends him a look of worry that goes unnoticed. Frank pours himself a cup of coffee and leans tiredly against the counter. Ray gives him a sympathetic look, "It'll get better."

But Ray has no idea what's actually going on and Frank thoroughly disagrees, so he ignores it. Gerard wraps an arm around him gently, pulling him closer, "You okay?"

Frank simply makes a soft noise that obviously means no, leaning into the other man's chest.

"I'm sorry."

Frank looks up at him at that, trying to get as close as possible without spilling his coffee. The redhead is warm, which he appreciates. They simply look at each other, their noses nearly touching.

Mikey clears his throat, "So.. what horror movies do you have Frank?"

Frank looks away, turning to look at Mikey, "Why don't you go look?"

Gerard squeezes his waist, "I brought Nightmare On Elm Street."

Frank beams at that, resting his cheek on Gerard's chest. Ray stands so he's not leaning on the counter as much, "Well are we just going to stand around or are we gonna go watch it?"

Gerard squeezes Frank's waist again before he lets him go, "I'll go get it, go set up."

Once the redhead is out of the room Mikey lets out a loud breath, "That was awkward."

Frank leads them to the living room to set up the DVD player, "What was?"

"You and my brother making bedroom eyes at each other."

Frank is glad he's facing away, face growing warm, "We were not making bedroom eyes at each other."

Mikey scoffs, "That's bullshit and you know it Frank."

Ray speaks up, "You kissed him didn't you? When he got here?"

Frank stops for a second, taking a deep breath and trying to will away his blush, "So what if I did?"

Mikey laughs, "I knew it. I knew you guys were going to happen from the start."

Frank scowls, "We are not happening."

He gets it set up, grabbing the remote and settling on the couch as Gerard walks back in. The redhead bends and puts the DVD in the player. Frank looks away because he knows Mikey is watching him to see if he looks at his ass.

Gerard of course decides to sit next to Frank, making him blush because he knows this only supports Mikey's statement. Frank shivers, standing, "I'm gonna go get a blanket, anyone else want one?"

Mikey raises his hand, staring Frank dead in the eye. Frank sends him a glare of don't you dare talk to him about it when I'm gone before he goes to retrieve some extra blankets. He grabs two, upon entering the room throwing one on Mikey.

Mikey gripes something about wanting to watch the beginning and Frank settles next to Gerard again. He covers himself with the blanket, immediately holding it open when he sees Gerard give him a look out of the corner of his eye. The redhead makes a soft sound too quiet for the other two to hear, scooting close.

Frank leans into him, eyes glued to the screen. By the time the movie is almost over he's practically on top of Gerard, the two of them shifting the entire time to get as close as possible. He lets his eyes shut, being held close, finally warm.

He's at total ease for once, relaxing. He doesn't know how long he sleeps, just that when he wakes up he's still against Gerard. The redhead is asleep, head fallen down onto Frank's shoulder. Frank shifts a little, looking up and catching Mikey's eyes.

He scowls, Mikey smiling in something between amusement and excitement. He's squeezed a little by Gerard, being nuzzled. Mikey raises his eyebrows suggestively and Frank wants to smack him.

——

Mikey ends up making some bullshit excuse about how he has to leave, dragging Ray along with it. He gives Frank a pointed and very suggestive look before he leaves. Frank is going to kill them, he swears.

It's awkward for them to be alone together, as much as both of them don't want it to be. Frank finally decides to make conversation after they're sitting in a coffee shop, sipping their coffees and pointedly not looking at each other. He finally lets his eyes meet Gerard's, "So how have you been?"

Gerard shrugs, eyes dropping down to his coffee, "Okay. You?"

Frank shrugs, "I've been okay."

"Dreams not getting better?"

"Still just as bad."

Gerard nods, tapping his fingers on the table. And the awkwardness is back.

Frank gets irritated. This is his best friend and they can't even talk anymore? He stops Gerard's hand rather harshly, placing his hand on top, "This sucks. Why can't we talk anymore?"

Gerard shrugs, "I don't know, Frankie."

Frank frowns, "Oh, come on, we both know why. This sucks. It's absolute bullshit, okay? I love you, you're my best friend. I don't want us to be awkward together."

Gerard bites his lip, looking up at him, "Yeah. Yeah, you're right."

Frank removes his hand, "So how have you been? Seriously."

Gerard smiles, "Okay. Me and Lindsey have been struggling lately."

Frank nods, "Mikey told me. Why?"

Gerard frowns and mumbles a soft, "Jamia. She talked to Lindsey about something and-"

Frank groans, "I told her not to."

"What?"

Frank shifts in his seat, "I.. well, I told Jamia some stuff and she said she was going to tell Lindsey."

"What stuff?"

Frank's fingers tap on the table this time and he focuses on his coffee.

"Frank? What stuff?"

"I confessed some stuff, but it wasn't like-"

"Frank, come on, just tell me."

Frank sinks in his seat, "I.. um, I confessed to Jamia that I.."

Gerard raises his eyebrows.

Frank mumbles it so low it's almost a whisper, "I love you, okay? That's what I told Jamia, that I love you. And she believed that you did too, so she said she was going to talk to Lindsey about it. I told her not to, though, cause you don't."

Gerard blinks at him a few times. Frank looks away from him then, sipping his coffee and trying not to look upset. Gerard grasps his free hand after a moment that feels way too long, "Wh- I, Frank, I.."

Frank smiles sadly at him, "It's fine. Just tell Lindsey that you don't, I'm sure she'll-"

Gerard shuts him up with a kiss, then a soft, "How do you know?"

Frank is stunned, "Know what?"

"When you really love someone?"

Frank's mind goes blank, "I, um, I don't know how to describe it."

Gerard pulls him up, leading him out of the coffee shop. Frank is confused but he lets Gerard drag him back to his apartment. He unlocks the door for them, baffled as to how this is going. Gerard pulls him into his apartment, setting their coffees on the table. Then he grabs Frank's hands, looking directly into his eyes, and says, "Show me."

Frank's mouth goes dry, "How?"

Gerard doesn't seem to have an answer.

Frank lets his hands go, grabbing his wrists and placing them on his waist, "Why don't you show me?"

Gerard is frozen for a second. Frank lets out a surprised but pleased noise when Gerard is kissing him. His hands come up to tangle in the redhead's hair, groaning when his kisses trail down to his neck. Gerard pulls him close, speaking against his skin, "Can I?"

"Please do."

Then Gerard's hands are coming and lifting Frank easily, the smaller man's legs wrapping around his waist. He's pleased to be carried to his bedroom, the two of them kissing, Gerard losing balance at one point and their kiss becoming more laughter than kissing.

Gerard drops Frank on his bed, the two of them still laughing. Frank spreads his legs, "That's no way to treat a lady, you know?"

Gerard pulls off his shirt, "Good thing you're not a lady."

They're all giggles, unable to be serious about anything. They manage to slowly undress though, coming together bare, the two smiling into their soft kisses.

Afterwards they lay together, sweaty and out of breath, Frank nuzzling into Gerard's neck. Fingertips run down the curve of his spine and all he can do is smile. Gerard speaks lowly, "Love?"

Frank hums, looking up at him so their noses are brushing, "What?"

Gerard smiles, "Nothing, just trying out the name."

Frank grins like an idiot, "Yeah?"

——

God, the day that Gerard moves in, all silence is gone. Frank is all smiles sitting on his boyfriend's lap, "Babe?"

Gerard hums, eyes still trained on the TV.

Frank groans, "You don't even love me anymore!"

The redhead smiles, hugging Frank around his waist, nuzzling him, "Yeah, I do. What?

Frank shifts, "You don't want to show me how much you love me in our new bed?"

Gerard smiles, "Our bed. That's new, huh?"

Frank whines, "That wasn't the point, stop with your mushy couple stuff."

"But baby, I love the mushy couple stuff."

Frank pouts, earning himself a kiss, then he laughs, "We're really one of those gross couples, huh?"

"Mushy in love couples."


	4. Calm

Frank wakes up sweating in the dark, even though it's cold. And he's back in his bedroom. His nice warm bed, he huffs out a breath and turns over. Stupid nightmares. He jumps up and out of bed when he touches the person next to him.

He screams. Of course he does. Why is someone in his bed? The floor feels destroyed and rotted. What's happening? The person that was next to him sits up with a sleepy, "Babe?"

Frank backs up against the wall, "Who are you?"

The figure doesn't say anything for a second, then they turn and click on an old lantern. The room is destroyed and old, rotted with graffiti on the wall. The person is a man with long flaming red hair and gently hazel eyes, "Come here, sweetheart."

Frank stays where he is, "Who are you? Don't call me that."

The man sighs somewhat sadly, "It happened again. I'm Gerard, remember? Your Party Poison?"

He stays against the wall, "My what?"

Gerard shifts, "Your boyfriend."

Frank raises his eyebrows, "I'm gay?"

Gerard frowns, "No, Love, you're bisexual."

"Oh. Where are we?"

"The diner."

Frank's voice lowers, "I can't remember anything."

Gerard sulks a little, "Yeah, I know," his face turns grim, "You have memory problems. And occasionally your brain resets while you're sleeping and you think you're in a time before the apocalypse."

Frank coughs, "Um, what? Apocalypse?"

Gerard shrugs, "Not like with zombies or anything. There was a war that made pretty much everything deserts. This company, BLIND, has taken over the main city, Battery city, and feeds the citizens pills."

He looks around, "So where are we now?"

"A diner. We're out in the desert, in a gang with my brother and Jet, because we rebelled from BLIND."

Frank looks completely confused about all of this new information, "Why?"

Gerard sighs, "I'm too tired to explain this. Can I explain in the morning?"

Frank crossed his arms, glaring at the rather attractive man in front of him, "I don't even know you. Why should I trust you?"

Gerard pretends to think, "Hmm.. maybe because we've been together for over a year now and I love you?"

Frank lets his arms drop, "That long?"

Gerard shrugs, "Yeah, of course."

"And you choose to deal with my shit?"

Gerard shrugs and just repeats what he said, "I love you."

Frank doesn't even know him and it gives him butterflies to hear that from a near stranger. He is cute.. Gerard holds out his arms, offering but not demanding.

He smiles happily when Frank steps forward into his arms. When Gerard touches him Frank melts and it feels right. Like he's meant to be there. He nuzzles him and mumbles a quiet, "Okay."

Gerard holds him so closely, like he's precious. Frank wonders if he ever got used to it, being held by Gerard. He wonders if he can get used to it.

They scoot back after Gerard turns off the lantern. They rest against the wall, Frank being held tightly, "Goodnight."

Gerard leans, their lips meeting in the dark, followed by an embarrassed, "Sorry, habit, goodnight."


	5. All Yours

Gerard's never been as familiar with someone as he is with Frank.

He nearly gave the younger boy a heart attack when he first talked to him in fourth grade. At the time, he really hadn't understood why Frank panicked so much.

He came to learn fast, when Frank had to go home, and their moms had a chat. He thought he had done something bad at first, at the way Frank had a complete meltdown from a simple "hi". His mom had to explain to him that Frank is different.

That was the year that Gerard learned the word anxiety. He'd never heard of it before, but he was told that Frank had it bad. His mom explained that sometimes Frank's anxiety gets so bad he won't talk. Gerard also learned what panic attacks are.

He was scared to talk to Frank after that, he didn't want him to get upset. But their friendship began when Gerard made an offhand comment without thinking and Frank had choked on his laughter.

They just gravitated to each other after that. Now, as a senior in high school, Gerard considers Frank easily his best friend. They get looks when they hold hands in the halls, and maybe it's a little odd that they still sleep in the same bed when sleeping at each other's house, but that's just how they are.

Gerard knows Frank well, he's trusted by Frank's mom to take care of him, and he can tell when an attack is coming. Yeah, maybe they're looked at as weirdos because Gerard will randomly jump up from his seat and ask to go to the office with Frank. But nobody does anything, it's known by teachers and students alike that Frank is special.

Well, most people do nothing. Gerard finds himself being shoved around occasionally but he doesn't tell Frank that. Especially when they're like how they are now. They sit close in art class, Gerard's knee touching Frank's under the table.

Frank looks up from his drawing, "What do you think? Honestly."

Gerard stops with his pencil hovering over his own drawing, looking over. His eyes widen at the sight of a vampire on Frank's paper that looks strangely like him. He smiles, "It's cute."

Frank sighs, "It's not supposed to be cute, it's a vampire."

Gerard shrugs, "Vampires can be cute."

Frank smiles then, "If you mention Twilight I swear to god.."

Gerard laughs lightly, "I wasn't going to. Who is it?"

Frank shrugs, looking away.

Gerard smiles, "Why? Is it me?"

Frank glares at him.

He places his hand over Frank's, "I like it."

Frank turns his hand over, intertwining their fingers, continuing to draw. Gerard leans on him a little, smiling down at his paper.

—

So Frank has officially found out that Gerard gets pushed around. Gerard swears, when he sees a bright eyed Frank and the stupid boys terrorizing him are threatening him for "helping the freak".

Frank freezes up and Gerard already knows that damage has been done. Frank runs, and Gerard shoves his way through everybody to chase after him. Frank is already crying when Gerard finds him hidden in one of the bathroom stalls, "Go away."

Gerard sighs, "Come out, Frankie. It's no big deal, I'm fine."

Frank sniffles, "It is a big deal. Because it's my fault. You heard them, I'm a freak. I can't do anything because I panic all the time and-"

Gerard cuts him off, "That's ridiculous. You're my best friend, Frank. I don't give a damn if they think you're a freak. I know you're not."

Frank stays silent.

Gerard knocks lightly on the door, "Please open the door? I want to hug you."

There's silence again and Gerard shifts on his feet, letting out a breath when Frank opens the door. The younger boy's face is red and sad, his hair messy, and he's still shaky.

Gerard hugs him, holding him close, Frank crying against him. He hums, "That's better. It's okay."

Frank nods, his hands hesitantly running down Gerard's sides, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

—

Gerard is determined not to be a virgin when he graduates high school. And with prom coming around, he really needs to find a date. He ends up being asked to prom by Lindsey, who is gorgeous.

She gives him a suggestive look when she says they can rent a hotel room afterwards. So of course he says yes, smiling brightly. Frank makes a face when he tells him, "Really? Out of all people, you choose Lindsey?"

Gerard nudges him, "Oh come on, she's hot."

Frank shrugs, looking back to the movie that they're watching in Gerard's basement room.

Gerard leans to block his view, "You don't think she's hot?"

Frank shrugs again, "Not really my type."

Gerard grins teasingly, "Then who is your type? Jamia?"

Frank shoves him, "No, move out of my way, I'm trying to watch."

Gerard groans, falling back, "You're so mean, Frankie."

—

Gerard isn't sure if Frank is mad at him or what. But they haven't talked in weeks. He doesn't even know what he did and every time he tries to ask Frank ignores him.

Gerard has to go through prom plans with Lindsey and without Frank. He feels nervous for once. As silly as it seems, he relies on Frank a lot. Screw all that independence shit, he needs his best friend.

He's all sweaty palms on the night of prom. He has to take a million pictures, his tux feeling too warm. Lindsey is beautiful but Gerard's mind is on Frank. What is Frank doing at this moment?

What if he's having an attack? Gerard feels like he's going to burst with anxiety, overthinking everything. There's multiple times where Lindsey tells him to relax with a smile. Finally he can't take it anymore and he escapes outside.

Mikey sounds annoyed when he picks up the phone, "Yes?"

Gerard lets out a shaky breath, "Hey, Mikes, can you go check on Frank?"

"Gerard, you're at prom, why the hell would I-"

"Because I'm, I don't know, worried? He hasn't talked to me in weeks and I don't know what to do and-"

"And why are you suddenly worried about this now?"

"I don't know. Can you please just check on him?"

Mikey sighs, "Why don't you just do it yourself?"

Gerard is getting irritated now, "Because I'm obviously busy."

"Yeah, too busy to have time for Frank."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh come on, it's obvious. You chose Lindsey over Frank?"

"They're two different types of relationships. They're different."

Mikey scoffs, "Yeah, keep telling yourself that."

"Can you quit being cryptic and just spit it out?"

Mikey yells into the phone, "Frank loves you, you blind idiot! And you ditched him to get laid so he's mad at you."

Gerard stammers, "Where did you get that?"

"Why? Do you love him too?"

Gerard clutches his phone, staring at his shoes. Since when does Frank love him? His mind supplies him with many times that Frank showed it. He sucks in a breath. Oh. Okay. But what does he do with this information?

Does he love him back? He thinks of that feeling he gets when he wakes up to Frank snoring against his chest, or when Frank hugs him a little longer than what's necessary. He's been blind to it, "I.. I'm an idiot. I gotta go."

He hangs up, hurrying inside to find Lindsey. She smiles at him and he simply says, "I have to go."

Her smile falls, "What?"

He runs his hand through his hair, "I've been stupid. I have someone and I didn't even realize and I love him and I have to tell him before he hates me."

Lindsey's smile returns, "Go get him."

Gerard presses a kiss to her cheek and then he's speeding off on his way to Frank's house. Frank's mother opens the door, blinking at the sight of him in his tuxedo. She raises her eyebrows, "Frank's not home."

Gerard nods, "Yeah, I get that he doesn't want to see me. I need to talk to him though."

She leans on the doorframe, "What about?"

"I need to tell him I've been stupidly oblivious to everything. I need to tell him how I feel and I want to kiss him until I can't breathe and-"

She smiles, moving out of the way, "He's in his room."

He nods in appreciation, running up the stairs. He probably surprises Frank a lot, bursting into his room, out of breath in a wrinkled tuxedo. Frank looks at him, eyes wide and mouth open in shock, "I thought-"

Gerard announces a simple, "I don't give a damn about getting laid. I don't give a damn about Lindsey or anyone that's not you."

Frank looks him over, "Did you just ditch Lindsey?"

Gerard sits on the bed, "I called Mikey because I was stressed out and he brought something to my attention."

Frank frowns, "Can you just go?"

Gerard shakes his head, grabbing Frank's hands, "No. Frank, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I've been a real dumbass."

Frank is frozen, eyes wide, "I.. Jesus Christ, Gee, you can't just spring these things on me. You could've called first."

Frank grins then and Gerard laughs. He cups Frank's face, pulling him close and kissing him. Frank has never kissed anyone, never experienced it at all. He still hums happily, relaxing into it. They part, their foreheads touching, "Oh, wow, I didn't realize how much I need you."

Frank laughs, blushing like an idiot and yeah, they're so perfect for each other.

Gerard wraps his arm around him, sending them falling back, pressing kisses all over Frank's face, "Don't you dare ever leave me like that again."

Frank tangles his hands in his hair, looking up at him warmly, "I left you?"

Gerard hums, squeezing Frank's waist a little, "I'm never going to leave like that again. I was an idiot."

Frank smiles, "My idiot."

Gerard grins, "Damn right, I'm all yours."

They kiss again, Frank's legs instinctively going to wrap around his waist. Gerard is in heaven, tugging on Frank's bottom lip lazily.

—

Now, when Frank is getting to anxious or getting lost in thought, Gerard gets to kiss him. He gets to kiss him right in front of everyone. Frank always blushes, swatting his arm softly and telling him to stop. But he always smiles, and Gerard gets to kiss him again.

Frank is still anxious about certain things though. He nearly has a panic attack when Gerard accidentally catches him with his shirt off. Gerard instantly turns away, because he knows that Frank doesn't want to be seen.

Frank had been in the process of changing really fast before Gerard got there, but apparently he wasn't fast enough. He bites his lip, "You should've knocked."

Gerard is still turned away, facing the door, "I know, I know, I'm sorry."

Frank's hand grasps onto the back of his shirt, "I'm sorry I'm not normal."

Gerard's hand reaches back to grab Frank's, "You're perfect."

Frank squeezes his hand, "I love you, okay?"

Gerard nods, "I love you too. So much."

Frank pulls Gerard's hand, "Look at me?"

Gerard hesitates, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Gerard does turn, slowly so Frank has time to change his mind. The younger boy is nervous, shifting on his feet as Gerard's eyes run over the exposed skin.

Gerard's hand comes up, finger tips running lightly over Frank's skin, who shivers. Frank is small and skinny, his ribs showing. His skin is smooth and tan and Gerard can't get enough of it. He can't get enough of Frank, "You're so beautiful."

Frank looks relieved at that, sliding his arms around Gerard's neck, kissing him. Gerard's hands land on Frank's bare back, pulling him closer.

——

They're so familiar with each other that they can sleep next to each other while half naked. Frank was warmed to the idea of Gerard seeing him a lot, becoming even more comfortable at school where he's not as keen on long sleeves.

It shocks Frank's mom when she comes home to the two of them watching a movie on the couch in just their shirts and boxers. Frank immediately cries out a surprised, "Mom!"

He grabs a blanket off the back of the couch, covering them hurriedly.

His eyes have gone wide because, okay he hasn't come out and she doesn't know about Gerard being his boyfriend yet, "What are you doing home early?"

Gerard is frozen too but he doesn't move away from Frank. She looks between the two of them, "You two watching a movie?"

Frank snaps a, "Yes."

She looks worried at that, "Everything okay?"

Frank groans, hiding his face in Gerard's chest. Gerard gets that now is his time to talk because Frank is embarrassed, "Everything's perfect."

Frank mumbles something about him being a cheeky jerk and he smiles. Frank's mom looks between them again, "Gerard? Can I talk to you?"

Frank turns to look at her, "No. No you can't."

She crosses her arms, "Fine. You're.."

"What?"

"Wearing less clothes than usual. With your best friend. On my couch."

Frank turns to snuggle back up to his boyfriend, who runs a hand through his hair comfortingly, "So?"

She lets her arms fall to her sides, "Frank. I know what's going on. Who do you think let Gerard in the house when he was knocking on the door in his tux?"

Frank doesn't say anything. Gerard kisses his ear, making him whine, "I already told her I want to kiss you until I can't breathe, Frankie."

His mom adds on, "I figured he'd be good for you. Looks like I was right."

Frank shoves Gerard, not being able to hide his smile, "To my mom? You asshole!"

The older boy grins, cupping his face and pulling him in for a kiss, "Mm.. Love you too Frankie."

Frank laughs, "Stop, you kiss me too much."

"No such thing."

Frank's mom speaks up, "But there are limits to how far I'm willing to let you go with my son, Gerard."

Frank groans and Gerard nods.

"So, no sex. No sexual anything at all. I don't want to find you two naked together either. Kisses and hugs only, no groping or anything of the sort. You are to be gentle and nice and take care of my son. Okay?"

Frank frowns, "Mom, it's Gerard."

She frowns back, "I'm just setting some ground rules. Just in case."

——

They break a rule not long after that. Well, Frank calls it breaking a rule. They lounge, the door locked, completely naked with their eyes on their respective screens. It's the first time they've been naked together and they sit close, comfortable together.

Frank turns to his side, "We're breaking a rule, you know."

Gerard smiles at him, "She said she doesn't want to catch us. We're not being caught so we're not breaking any rules."

Frank wrinkles his nose, earning himself a kiss. Gerard sets his phone down, turning to his side as well, looking Frank over. The younger boy snuggles close to him, Gerard's fingers running lightly over his arm and drawing invisible patterns.

"Can I draw on you?"

Frank smiles, "Draw me some tattoos."

Gerard giggles, "Tattoos? I didn't think you were the type, Frankie."

He laughs back, "Me neither."

Gerard turns, looking for a pen. He ends up finding one, showing Frank victoriously, who's smile widens. They sit up, Frank holding out his arm. The older boy gets to work, doodling as his boyfriend patiently waits.

Frank ends up with doodles everywhere, the two finding space when they run out. Drawings over his hands and arms and neck and thighs. Drawings everywhere. When they finally run out out of space, Gerard looks him over once and then starts giggling uncontrollably.

Frank frowns, looking down at all the beautiful drawings on his skin. He's kissed, and Gerard simply says, "My best work, no competition."

Frank blushes because that's what he always does. Gerard pulls him close, the two of them kissing again and getting wrapped up in each other. They end up tangled together, naked, and grinning like idiots.

——

Frank's mom had quite a few things to say about the drawings. But Gerard is still a happy mess when Frank wears the drawings like a medal to school. Frank doesn't seem anxious about them at all or about any of the looks he gets for them.

Everyone knows who drew them. Gerard grins when he sees him, pulling him into a kiss and mumbling a quiet, "You look so beautiful."

Frank smiles too, "All yours."

Gerard squeezes him and nods, "All mine."


	6. Touch Starved

Gerard has always been starved of physical intimacy, though it rarely shows, but Frank thinks that's the reason for the way he's so handsy when drunk. Not necessarily for sex, he's sure Gerard has a lot of that, just the act of touching and hugging and begging for attention.

Frank doesn't really mind. He actually likes it quite a bit, he likes cuddling and always has. Maybe not necessarily after shows when he's all sweaty, but he still lets himself be held by Gerard anyway.

They all wipe off all their running makeup like usual and then head for the van. Not a hotel night tonight. Frank is immediately climbing over the second row of seats into the back of the van, where there are blankets and pillows set up for whoever wants to sleep.

Gerard follows, and then Mikey and Ray. They can all fit in the back together, though they're a little squished. Frank doesn't mind, taking the spot closest to the right side of the van.

He curls up immediately, being joined by Gerard, who takes the spot next to him. Ray takes the spot furthest and Mikey wiggles into the spot between Gerard and Ray.

Now the younger Way has two options, to curl up to Gerard or Ray. Of course he chooses Ray, being held with warm arms and huffing out a satisfied noise.

Gerard's attention is on Frank, it always seems to be when he's drunk. Frank makes a face at him, making him smile, before he turns away. He already expects Gerard to spoon him, being pulled against his chest carefully.

Gerard's fingers entwine with his, resting over his heart, face nuzzled into his neck. Frank can feel all of Gerard behind him, shifting and squeezing his fingers. He's asleep not long after that.

——

Frank swears loudly at the sight that greets him when he opens the door, searching for Ray and Mikey and finding them entangled, an image he didn't ever want to see, "Fucking Christ! You can't put a fucking sign on the door or something?"

He's already closed the door, rubbing his eyes as if that will get rid of the image. He finds his way back to their room, an hour before the concert, Gerard looking up at him entering, "Did you yell?"

Frank frowns, making his way over, "Caught Ray and Mikey fucking."

Gerard shrugs with one shoulder, "Knew it. Think I should beat the shit out of him for touching my brother?"

Frank climbs onto his lap, "No. I get that Mikey is.. well, Mikey, but Ray doesn't have a bad bone in his body. I think it'd be good for both of them. I mean, there's a lot of people worse than Ray that Mikey could like."

Gerard's thumbs rub his hips, seemingly thinking this over, "Yeah. I guess you're right."

Frank hums, "And Ray is a good fucking guitarist. I mean, I think it's a win for both you and Mikey.. and Ray. And me, I guess, since I don't have to see them cuddled together and saying it doesn't mean anything."

Gerard smiles at his rambling, softly saying, "Yeah. Yeah, you're right Frankie."

Frank grins, "I'm always right."

Gerard tilts his head a little, simply humming in answer. The man on his lap shifts forward more, nuzzling his neck and grasping onto his shirt. He's rewarded with careful hands up his shirt, rubbing his back comfortingly.

——

It bewilders Mikey how the two of them switch from acting like a new couple and an old married couple. They just gravitate towards each other and meet in the most perfect almost practiced way.

——

Frank first notices a change in their relationship when Gerard gets sober. Because then Gerard won't touch anyone, and Frank knows better than to try.

——

Frank is sweaty and tired and he just really needs to be held. He doesn't exactly remember the point where it began being something he really needed, but it is.

He just needs to be held and kissed and wanted. He feels like shit, his old depression creeping up on him and catching him a bit off guard. Gerard won't touch him anymore, doesn't even really look at him.

And he just feels terrible. He's so exhausted, sulking into the van and curling up facing away from everyone else. Gerard doesn't even touch him and it makes his heart sink more. He doesn't remember when these things started hurting him so much.

But it all hits him hard and he cries silently. All the other men are already probably asleep and he makes a real effort to keep quiet. He sniffles softly and he nearly jumps when a hand curls around his waist.

He knows it's Gerard and he doesn't even care enough to respect boundaries, turning over and hiding perfectly in the other man's chest. His hair is stroked and he sniffles more, probably getting Gerard's shirt all wet.

——

Gerard doesn't touch him anymore, but he does look at him now with worried little glances. Frank finds himself feeling isolated, Mikey is always tangled up with Ray and Gerard is suddenly distant.

Frank spends most of his time not on stage hidden in the back of the van, sulking and not wanting to be talked to. He doesn't really do anything, laying and staring at the van's ceiling.

Sometimes one of the other guys will come back to sleep but Frank never really talks anymore anyway. He feels drained, dozing.

——

Frank gets dragged out by Mikey and Ray, told that he's no fun anymore, and that he has to go out drinking with them. So of course he gets drunk, so drunk that walking is a challenge.

He doesn't know how he makes it to the van without someone else helping him but he does, climbing into the van and heading to the back.

Gerard is on his phone there, having stayed, remaining loyal to his vow to stay sober. He looks up at Frank, who grins, "There you are! You've been ignoring me lately."

Gerard frowns, "I haven't been ignoring you, Frank."

Frank sits down, slumped against the wall, "Really? Well I've been feeling like shit for no reason then, huh?"

Gerard frowns more, "It's my fault?"

Frank closes his eyes, "I miss you."

"I'm right here."

Frank's eyes open again and he scoffs, "Barely."

Gerard is already set to yell at him, anger crossing over his face.

Frank holds out his hands as if that would stop it, "I mean, you never talk to me anymore. I'm lonely, okay? You're different sober, I guess I'm just adjusting."

Gerard thinks this over for a second, "How am I different?"

Frank whines as if a child, "You never touch me anymore, you don't even pay attention to me. I miss the special attention."

Gerard raises his eyebrows, "You're sad because I don't touch you anymore?"

Frank groans, falling back, simply looking up at the van ceiling. The tears are back and he wipes at them furiously, keeping his mouth shut tightly to muffle all the sobs in his chest.

Gerard watches him closely, the way he's so open and upset about this suddenly.

Frank finds his way to his spot, curling up and pulling blankets over himself, mumbling a quiet, "I'm going to sleep."

—

Frank wakes up with Gerard nuzzled against his back, the van completely silent except for the sound of the engine. He remembers getting upset and Gerard seeing him cry again, frowning.

He turns over onto his stomach, forgetting the man against him before realizing the way Gerard snuggles into his side instead.

——

The next concert, Gerard writes Sorry on his neck in makeup and Frank finds himself writing back Kiss me.

——

It's not really spoken about after, the way they found an awkward space between each other. Until it's finally broken by Gerard spooning him and saying, "Let me try again?"

Frank huffs out a small breath, turning over, their noses brushing, "What do I get out of it?"

Gerard grins, pulling him in to peck his lips, "Whatever you want."

Frank is breathless, eyes wide, "Anything?"

Gerard hums, "I'll give you the whole world, if that's what you ask of me."

Frank presses another short kiss to his lips, "Is your heart too much to ask?"

——

And then their relationship is back. Except better than before. Frank loves the way Gerard kisses him, so greedily and loving. And it's not casual affection anymore either, Gerard kissing down his neck and mumbling about how much he loves him.

Frank is in heaven with the way Gerard falls asleep on top of him and he gets to call him his boyfriend. On hotel nights Ray and Mikey always go out for a few drinks and Gerard gets to make sweet love to Frank.

He doesn't think he's ever been happier. When he tells Gerard that he laughs, kissing him and telling him that he hasn't either.


	7. Over You

Gerard is perched on Frank's bed, watching him pace, "I don't know, Gee, I haven't seen her since high school and maybe I'm just not good enough for her."

Gerard smiles, dressed in his dirty clothes he always seems to wear when they're not on tour, "Frank, you're in a popular band, how can you not be good enough for her?"

"Well yeah but you know me, my personality is absolute shit sometimes. And I don't even know what I should wear."

"It's okay, I'll help pick out your outfit. There's nothing wrong with your personality, I like you and I don't really get along much with anyone."

Frank stops in front of him, "Yeah but you're a special case. You're weird."

Gerard smiles, standing, "Come on, let's find out what you're gonna wear."

Frank sits on the bed this time, watching Gerard go through his drawers. It feels a bit odd to both of them, that Frank is going out with Jamia, that he's focusing on someone other than Gerard when they both know that Frank was head over heels for the older man for a few years. And the fact that Gerard is here helping him before the date? It's bizarre.

And maybe Gerard does feel a bit unsettled by the fact that Frank seems to be no longer interested in him romantically. Maybe he liked the attention. Frank looks absolutely stunning in the outfit that Gerard picks, shifting his weight and still looking nervous.

Gerard is a bit speechless and he lets his fingers ghost over Frank's arms, looking him over. The younger man finally speaks, "Looks good?"

Gerard smiles, softer than before and says a quiet, "Looks very good."

Frank's fingers come up to grasp onto his hand, "Thank you for helping me."

"It's no problem, Frankie, you'd do the same for me."

And the look Frank gives him makes him not so sure about his statement, "Well, I've got to go so I'm not late. Wait up for me here?"

Gerard blinks, "You're not going to be bringing her back here?"

Frank shrugs, still holding onto his hand, "I don't bring people home after the first date."

"Oh. Then yeah, I'll wait here I guess so you can tell me all about it."

"Do you really want to know?"

Gerard squeezes his hand, "Sure, Frankie."

And with that, Frank is leaving on his date. Gerard settles on the couch with a blanket, deciding to watch a movie. He gets a beer from the fridge and lets himself be absorbed in whatever's on.

It's only an hour or so before Frank returns, the sun having already gone down. The lights are off and he blinks, "Jeez, how can you see anything in here?"

Gerard hums, "Only need to see the tv."

Frank's fingers run along the older man's shoulder as he passes behind the couch, heading to change into something more comfortable. When he returns he presses into Gerard's side, curling up.

Gerard speaks softly, "How did the date go?"

Frank's voice is softer if possible, "It went amazing, she's really great."

"That's good."

And Frank grabs his hand, shifting to press his face into Gerard's neck, "Yeah."

It's so dark and the only noise is the tv and their breathing. Gerard's hand presses in the space between Frank's shoulder blades, maybe a little caught up in the feel of him. At that, Frank is moving to properly straddle him, face still pressed in his neck and hand still gripping so hard on his.

Gerard sighs, the weight on his lap feeling way too comfortable. But it's Frank and he's always been comfortable with Frank. The younger man feels so perfect in his arms, and Gerard finally says a soft, "Frank?"

The younger man seems to push himself impossibly closer, "Yeah?"

"Maybe- Maybe we shouldn't do this."

Frank moves away, looking at him, "Oh."

With the light of the tv behind him, Frank looks like an angel. A frowning angel. Gerard lets go of the other man's hand, pulling him close by the side of his neck and pressing the lightest kiss to his temple, "You're wonderful."

Frank sighs, "You're my best friend."

And Gerard's fingers slide into his hair, "I know."

Frank's expression softens at his touch, "I'm trying."

Yeah, Gerard has told him no before. Frank has come onto him before and he's had to let him down gently that he doesn't feel the same way. He's told Frank that he needs to find someone else. He sighs, "I'm no good, Frank."

Frank shakes his head, "But I'm not either."

"We'd be a disaster."

"I love you."

Gerard looks tired at that statement and repeats, "I'm no good."

Frank sighs, hand moving up to rest on Gerard's arm gently, softly repeating back, "I love you."

Gerard shakes his head stiffly, letting his hands fall, "You like Jamia."

"But she's not you."

"Jeez Frank, you can't just get over it? I don't- I don't want you."

Frank's expression crumbles at that, his eyes dropping into his lap.

Gerard's voice goes almost too quiet to hear, "I don't think I'm good for you."

Frank's arms wrap around himself and he replies with a shaky, "Yeah."

Gerard sighs, hands rising to rest on Frank's arms, "Don't be like that, I've told you before. Jamia will be better for you than me."

Frank frowns, "Okay."

Gerard groans, hands rising to rest on Frank's cheeks, "Come on, Frank. I- You already knew I felt this way."

The fact that he's lying is cycling in Gerard's head over and over again. But he knows that he's not going to be good for Frank in a relationship, he knows he's too fucked up. But Frank's tears are wet on his cheeks and Gerard just wants to tell the truth.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I wish I could be there in that way for you."

Frank bites out a sharp, "Don't wish for things you don't mean."

And Gerard knows that Frank wouldn't cry in front of anyone but him. He knows that Frank lets his borders fall when around him.

Frank wipes his tears and lets his hands rest on Gerard's, keeping them on his cheeks, "I don't want to date Jamia."

"Then don't."

Frank presses close to him again, simply letting out a soft sound. Gerard's arms wrap around him and they're silent. They stay quiet for a long time, simply existing together. Finally Frank says a soft, "Stay the night with me."

"Okay."

They go to sleep after a bit, pressed close in Frank's bed. And Gerard aches. His heart is heavy with his decision to reject Frank. Even though telling him that he wasn't interested felt like losing a part of himself. And seeing Frank cry was terrible. He's restless all night.

He wakes up with Frank's spot next to him empty, getting up sleepily at the smell of coffee. The shorter man is perched on the kitchen counter, texting on his phone.

Gerard speaks huskily but quietly, "Hey."

Frank looks up but doesn't look him in the eyes, "Hey. I was actually going to take a shower, but help yourself to coffee or whatever."

And at that Frank is quickly fleeing to his room. Gerard sighs, getting himself a cup of coffee. He has barely sat down before his phone is ringing, and he sees that it's Mikey. He answers, "Hello?"

Mikey's voice is blank, "You've really fucked up."

"What?"

"Frank has been texting me this morning, he told me what happened. You couldn't have let him down gently?"

Gerard runs a hand over his face and quiets his voice where Frank can't hear, "I lied. Mikes, I honestly don't think I'm good enough. I'm fucked up."

Mikey is quiet for a second and then he's yelling, "You could have fucking told him that! Jeez, Gerard, it's Frank!"

Gerard winces, "And get his hopes up? What if I can't fucking do it?"

"Frank loves you, Gee. He would understand as long as you tried. I can't believe you would lie to him like this for so long."

"It's recent. I wasn't interested before. But now that he's started pursuing romantic shit with other people I miss it, I miss him. I realized I want him."

"Tell him. Talk to him. Don't just fucking break his heart just because you're getting too caught up in your head. You can do it, a relationship will be good for both of you."

"Okay, I will."

"Good. Bye, idiot."

"Bye, Mikes."

Gerard drinks his coffee until he hears Frank come out of the bathroom, standing to find him in his room. Frank's hair is wet and his face is red in a way that Gerard knows he was probably crying. Frank looks at him as he stands in the doorway, putting away his clothes, "What?"

Gerard sighs, taking a deep breath, "I- Frank.. I was on the phone with Mikey and I had some sense talked into me and.. I wasn't honest with you last night."

Frank frowns, "You don't have to say that, I'll get over it."

Gerard firmly says, "I lied. I lied when I said I don't want you, I'm just so scared that I'm too much of a fuck up to be with anyone in that way anymore, I don't want to mess anything up or disappoint you."

"You- I- I don't know how to reply to that."

"I understand if you're mad. I get it if you're upset that I made you feel bad just because I'm insecure. I get it if you don't want me anymore."

Frank reaches for him, still frowning, "Gee.. You could have just told me you felt that way."

Gerard shakes his head, mumbling, "I'm a coward."

Frank's shaky hands are still half reaching for him, "You're not. It's hard to talk about that shit sometimes. I- You want me?"

Gerard nods, "I thought I wasn't interested at first. But when you started paying attention to other people I realized that I really want you, want to be with you. I just- What if I'm too messed up?"

Frank's hands are grasped by Gerard's and he says, "Everyone is messed up, Gee. We can get through stuff together, I love you as you are, I don't care if you're fucked up."

Gerard is leaning down to press his lips to Frank's at that, fingers tangling in his wet hair and pulling him close. Frank groans, melting into his touch, their lips moving together perfectly. When he pulls away Frank's face has a nice blush and he grins crookedly.

Frank looks so dazed and just says a whispered, "Wow."

Gerard nods and Frank is going on his toes to peck his lips again. The older man just mumbles a soft, "Mine."

Frank smiles, their noses brushing, "If you want."


	8. Remember

The radiation is getting to Frank's head, he swears. He thought, no he knew, that he saw his mother in front of him. And literally in a blink of an eye she was gone.

It makes his brain itch to know that his mother has been dead for a while now. But he swore he saw her. It's been a while since he's been in a safe facility though, so it could be hallucinations.

He's been feeling off lately. But he's just trying to get to the next town before he falls over and dies or whatever. His backpack feels too heavy and he knows that there isn't a safe town for miles.

This is going to be the end of Frank Iero. It's been a good run, he thinks bitterly. His breathing is heavy and his skin burns and he glances up at the sun. He really should have brought protection against the radiation with him. But he always travels unprotected.

He stumbles, trying to get steady with another step forward, tumbling to the ground. The hot cement burns him and cuts his hands when he tries to catch himself.

He's stuck with his cheek against the ground, body going rigid. It takes everything in him to get to his knees, breathing heavily. Then he screams in frustration, sweat dripping down his face.

He's on the very brink of death and all he feels is frustration. He slams his hands to the ground, the burning of his lungs leaving him in agony. He's been through everything and he's going to die at the hands of radiation?

At the hands of his own stubbornness? He thinks not. He looks around, every uneven inhale of breath making him feel as if he's breathing fire. His eyes roll into his head and he falls back, writhing in agony.

He wants to claw at his skin, the burn is too much. Then the darkness he sees fades to white. He stands in front of the Witch. She's beautiful, hair of white and almond shaped gold eyes.

He sucks in a breathe and it no longer burns. His face is hot from the process of dying. She smiles at him warmly, "You've passed on. Welcome."

He twitches at those words, "I.. Um, thank you. I don't exactly want to be here."

She raises her eyebrow, "Most people do not embrace death."

He shuffles on his feet, "Yes. Well.. I don't- Is there any way I can..?"

Her eyes quickly flash to a gray and then she smiles, "Yes."

His heart leaps, "How?"

"You must find him. And meet him."

"Meet who?"

"Do you take the task?"

He breathes out a quiet, "Yes."

He wakes with the image of bright red hair and hazel eyes in his mind. He's on the ground and he blinks. The burning is gone. He stumbles to his feet, looking around.

His skin, which had a slight green tint to it from being in radiation throughout his life is gone. He gawks at the strange sight for a second before he's running.

He runs as hard as he can, sprinting down the street, thanking the Witch a thousand times under his breath. The next safe facility washes the radiation off him before allowing him inside with all the other people.

People stare at him, the fact that he doesn't have the slight green tint odd. Frank doesn't care, looking for red hair and hazel eyes frantically.

——

Frank doesn't know how much later it is that he finally finds him. He feels a nudge in the back of his mind that tells him that it really is him.

Frank didn't expect him to be so gorgeous though. He just stares, bringing the man's attention to him and making him scowl. He walks up to the man, grinning, "I found you."

The man raises his eyebrows, "Found me? I think you have the wrong person."

Frank shakes his head, "The Witch sent me."

And that's how Frank gets in a fight in the middle of a shop.

——

The thing is, Frank doesn't know how the hell he even remembers that he's supposed to be finding the man. He doesn't remember anything, his memory is crap, and he especially doesn't remember anyone.

Well, almost anyone. He remembers his mother. And the red haired man. He remembers certain places too. But that's about it.

He doesn't know how the radiation got there. He just knows that the Witch sent him to find this man. He's approached him many times and he always gets hurt or threatened and he doesn't know why.

Didn't the Witch send him here for a reason? Is it all a joke?

——

Frank is sitting blankly in front of a shop, having followed the red haired man everywhere. He can't let him go, he was sent to find him for a reason.

It's finally then that the man approaches him for the first time, calling out, "Hey. Why do you follow me everywhere?"

Frank forgets for a second, face neutral as he tries to concentrate, "I.. I think the Witch sent me to find you. I think. I don't remember all too well but I remember you."

The man sits next to him, keeping his distance, "Why?"

Frank shrugs, "No idea."

"You're not.. you don't have a lot of radiation on you."

"Yeah?"

The man looks like he feels bad, "What happened to you?"

Frank furrows his eyebrows, trying hard to remember, "I.. I think I died."

The man's eyes widened, "You died?"

He shrugs one shoulder.

"Did it hurt?"

He shrugs again. His hands pick at his pants.

"Do you remember anything?"

Frank sighs sadly, "No."

——

The man lets him walk beside him after that when traveling to a new shelter. He's glad that he doesn't have to trail behind him around like a neglected puppy anymore. But he does wish they'd talk.

——

"What's your name?"

"Huh?"

"Your name."

"Oh. Um, Frank. Frank Iero."

They had been walking and the redhead stops, "The Frank Iero?"

He blinks back, "What?"

"There's stories about you. They say you blew up a town once and you were a leader in the original fire wars."

"Oh. I don't remember that.."

"Some say you died on the 180. Others think you're still alive. Are you really Frank Iero?"

He shrugs, mumbling, "Well, I hope so. I've- I've been Frank Iero for as long as I can remember."

They look at each other for a second before they keep walking. Taking breaks is risky business.

"So.. what's your name?"

"You don't know?"

"Well, I hope I didn't forget that too.."

"It's Gerard.. Way."

——

They slowly warm up to each other. They even become friends, the result of hanging out at bars together. Frank sometimes forgets who Gerard is, waking up in a foreign room in a panic that's hurriedly calmed by the redhead.

Sometimes Frank is vulnerable and confused but he's not taken advantage of. Gerard seems to be the perfect companion for him, calm when Frank freaks out. Gerard is sympathetic though, telling him random stories and stuff to distract him.

He doesn't mind traveling with Gerard, not at all. Some might even say it's pleasant.

——

Frank loses Gerard and he doesn't know how. It goes like this: Where's Gerard, who's Gerard, and then nothing about Gerard at all for a while.

——

Then one day he's walking and it's like a jolt of lightning through him, memories of the redhead flooding back. And then he can't forget him. The soft hazel eyes and his perfect lips and light freckles on his cheeks, Frank remembers it all.

He's back to the beginning. But he can't forget him, he can replay every moment they had together in his head. He forgets other things but never Gerard.

He just keeps thinking I should have kissed him. And that's just repeated over and over in his head.

——

Frank moves fast but he can't find Gerard anywhere. He doesn't know where he is. He knows where he was but not where he is now.

——

Gerard doesn't want anything to do with him when Frank finds him. He won't even talk that much to him. The redhead says the hurtful phrase of, "You're just going to forget me anyway," and Frank starts crying.

He doesn't feel like he's cried a lot in his life, but he does then. He crumbles completely, he lets himself fall. The man he was before Gerard was different than this, he knows that somehow.

Gerard looks completely taken back, eyes wide at the sight.

Frank is laid on his back on the ground, like a toddler having a tantrum, tears rolling down his cheeks. He just breathes out a weak, "I can't forget you. All I do is remember."

Gerard is frozen, "But you never remember anything."

Frank sobs, "I know."

People are staring and the redhead knows that attention isn't good. His arms find their way under Frank and he carries him bridal style, the younger man sniffling against his chest.

They find a shaded alley, Gerard putting him down. Frank grasps onto his jacket, "I don't know a lot. But I know that I am meant to be with you, at your side. I came back to fucking life for you, that has to mean something."

Gerard looks at him before sighing, wiping Frank's tears away softly, "I've always been soft when it comes to you."

And Frank kisses him. His arms finds their way around his neck and he pulls him close. Gerard is stiff and frozen at first but then he bites softly at Frank's lips.

They part, breathless, and Gerard chuckles, "You're crazy."

Frank hums, "I get that more than you'd think."

They smile at that, so close to each other. Gerard slowly removes Frank's arms from around his neck, "Come on."

Frank is glad to be helped up, brushing the dirt off his butt before following Gerard. He almost gets lost, fear jolting through him, as they walk through all the people. He grasps Gerard's hand as a result, being pulled along. They end up at a little house.

Frank looks at Gerard curiously and the redhead scoops him up in his arms, making him giggle. Gerard speaks into his neck, "I.. I found my brother and he says we could stay with him. At least until we can get our own place."

Frank blinks at him, "You're serious?"

Gerard nods, smiling.

"I've.. I've never had a home before."


	9. Artist

Gerard is an artist. Frank forgets that sometimes, until Gerard shows up at his door at 3 in the morning covered in paint.

The older man's eyes are bright and awake while Frank is still sluggish from waking up to open the door.

Frank figures that something happened and Gerard managed to get away from Mikey, letting him pass. Gerard rants about the weather, as if it's not 3am and he's not covered in paint, "It's so cold out there. Crazy that it's getting cold already.."

Frank nods and yawns, closing the door, "Yeah. Crazy."

He goes to make coffee in the kitchen, his friend following. When Gerard doesn't think he's watching his face resigns into a rather sad expression. So Frank knows he should be expecting a panicked call from Mikey soon.

Frank sometimes forgets that Gerard is a rather sad person.

He situates Gerard with a cup of coffee and sips his own before his phone is ringing from the other room.

He sighs as Gerard jumps, going to answer it. Mikey of course. He answers with a, "Yeah, he's here."

Mikey sighs, "Oh thank god. Can you handle him or do you need help?"

"I think I'm fine."

"Okay, call me if you're not."

"Yeah, okay, bye."

He enters the living room to Gerard zoning out on the couch. He leans over the back of the couch, pressing a soft kiss to his head, "Come on Gee, let's get you clean, you're covered in paint."

Gerard blinks as if he hadn't noticed the paint on him, looking at his hands, which are covered in yellow, purple, and red.

Frank covers his hands with his own gently, "Do you need help?"

Gerard frowns at his hands and mumbles a, "You don't want to help me."

Oh. So the happiness that's used as a coverup is gone. Frank sighs, "I'll run a bath, come on."

Gerard does follow him to the bathroom, standing there. Frank makes sure the water isn't too hot before he stands up straight and looks at Gerard expectantly.

Gerard furrows his eyebrows, "I don't want to. I'm ugly."

Frank forgets sometimes that Gerard is insecure.

He shakes his head, stepping closer and softly saying, "You're not ugly, Gee. And trust me, I'd know, I've seen all of you."

Gerard doesn't answer.

Frank waits patiently for permission to touch, "Do you want me to join you?"

Gerard nods his head, reminding Frank briefly of a spoiled child who's ready to throw a fit if denied anything. Frank doesn't want to think of Gerard that way.

"Can I touch you?"

Gerard nods again. Frank carefully removes his best friend's clothes, turning off the faucet and helping Gerard step into the bath.

Gerard sits and looks up at him innocently, silently begging him to join.

Frank forgets sometimes that Gerard is gorgeous.

He closes the bathroom door and locks it before he's undressing too. Gerard's eyes run over his tattoos carefully. He sits on the other side of the bath, their legs touching in the middle.

He carefully begins cleaning the paint. Gerard watches his actions silently. Finally, Frank breaks the silence, "How's Lindsey?"

Gerard's expression remains the same, "She's fine."

"Did something happen?"

Gerard shrugs and mumbles a, "No."

Frank forgets sometimes that he loves Gerard.

He forgets that he still wants Gerard after all these years.

He wishes he could forget sometimes that Gerard has a girlfriend.

Gerard looks at him, squinting a little as if he's really analyzing him, then says, "How are you?"

Frank shrugs, "Good. As good as I can be."

"Have you been playing guitar? Or writing any new music?"

"Not as much as I used to."

In reality, he can't write anything but shitty love songs about Gerard. But he's not going to say that.

Gerard hums and leans closer, their faces close enough where their noses are brushing. Gerard tangles his fingers in Frank's hair, humming again thoughtfully.

They've been here before, Gerard seeking intimacy and Frank being the only one around, but it always ends with Frank being more heartbroken. He pulls away because of that and says, "We shouldn't."

Gerard follows him, their lips nearly brushing, "I want to."

Frank tries not to let bitterness leak into his voice, "Save it for Lindsey."

Gerard huffs out a humorless laugh, leaning in, their lips meeting in a soft warm kiss. Frank melts into it, which Gerard already expects.

Frank forgets sometimes that Gerard knows him better than he knows himself.

Then they're tangled together, rutting against each other like animals. Their hips meet swiftly, making for a fast release for both of them. Then Gerard kisses Frank again, who holds so tightly onto him.

Frank forgets sometimes that he needs Gerard.

They part, swollen lips and slightly sweaty. They get out of the bath, dressing for bed before they're climbing on the couch to watch a movie. Gerard is all dark eyes and messy hair, this bliss on his face that makes Frank smile.

The older man leans against him, eyes fluttering closed and Frank sighs happily. That ache in his heart remains though, prodding him and reminding him that he let Gerard cheat on Lindsey.

He grabs Gerard's hand, pressing a kiss to his head, "I have been writing a little.."

Gerard's eyes open and meet his, "Oh yeah?What about?"

Frank stays silent for a second, then says, "You."

Gerard hums and closes his eyes again, as if this is no surprise to him. He mumbles a soft, "I love you too, Frankie."

Frank's heart skips a beat and he loses his breath. Then his brain reminds him it's not in the way he wants. The way he needs.

Gerard squeezes his hand gently. Frank makes a soft noise, cupping Gerard's face with his hands and kissing him firmly. Now it's Gerard's turn to melt.

Frank kisses him desperately, trying to get rid of all the feelings he has bottled up. Gerard pulls him up onto his lap, Frank wrapping his arms around his neck, their lips never parting.

They eventually have to end the kiss for a breath. Gerard's eyes are darker than before, his lips bit and swollen. Then they're meeting again, pressed together.

One of Gerard's hands ends up splayed out on Frank's back, the other on his butt. Frank does feel loved in that moment, opening his mouth and letting their tongues brush. Gerard moans quietly into his mouth, pulling him impossibly closer.

They're so wrapped up in each other that they don't hear the front door open or Mikey's grumbling. Frank's too busy moaning into Gerard's mouth to hear the front door close and Mikey's footsteps.

They part so quickly when Mikey says a loud, "What the fuck, you really are fine with taking care of my brother aren't you?"

Frank is out of breath, feeling self aware, a burst of anxiety running through him. Mikey looks furious and Gerard looks just as shocked as he is. He's still on Gerard's lap, standing unsteadily, "Um.. I can explain. We really weren't-"

Gerard cuts him off, "I like him Mikes."

Mikey frowns and furrows his eyebrows, "Yes, and you have a girlfriend."

Gerard flinches at that.

Mikey turns to Frank, "He has a girlfriend Frank."

Frank shifts his weight nervously, "Yeah.. yeah, I know. We just got carried away. It was really nothing."

Gerard speaks, "Nothing?"

Frank looks to him, "Well, not nothing.."

Mikey glares at both of them silently.

Frank can't decide if he wants to scream because Gerard Way finally likes him back or cry from being caught. Gerard stands as well, a hand sliding around Frank's waist, "Lindsey and I are practically over anyway."

Mikey's disappointed gaze turns to him, "That doesn't mean you can spend your free time with your hands all over Frank. You should have waited until it was officially ended."

——

Frank gets a text nearly a month later from Gerard, after not hearing from him since they'd been caught.

'Hey. Come over?'

Frank looks blankly at the screen. He has his guitar in hand, having stopped playing for a second to check his phone. Then he sets his phone down again, continuing to play.

He gets carried away in the act of playing and writing it down and adding in his own lyrics, he ends up texting back Gerard hours later.

'The offer still open?'

His phone buzzes immediately, making him smile.

'Yeah, Of course.'

He grabs his jacket and his keys, heading out to his friend's house. Gerard answers it, the lightest bit of red eyeshadow around his eyes.

But the biggest change is Gerard's normally black hair is now cut short and red. Frank's mouth goes dry at the sight. Gerard smiles slightly, stepping to the side, "Come in."

Frank does as told, "I'm sorry I answered so late, I got caught up in playing and I forgot about it."

He goes stiff at the change in Gerard's apartment. The old grayed out paintings that were painted years ago are replaced with new brightly colored ones. The apartment has more lights on than it used to and it appears to be cleaner.

He looks around curiously, wondering what inspired the sudden change. Gerard speaks behind him, "It's fine, I have nothing to do but draw anyway."

Frank's eyes catch on one painting in particular. Yellow, purple, and red. His mind conjures up the image of Gerard looking down at his paint covered hands. He smiles at that.

He turns to look at Gerard, schooling his face into a neutral expression, "You changed your paintings?"

Gerard shrugs, "I got to thinking and figured it was time for a change. It was too gloomy in here."

Frank hasn't known how Gerard has been doing, Mikey refuses to talk to him. He looks up at Gerard, "Have you been doing okay?"

Gerard smiles, "I've been good. As good as I can be."

Frank grins and bites his lip at that, "Well, you look good."

Gerard runs his hand through his hair, "A nice change."

Frank looks him over, he seems to have lost some weight too, he seems much healthier, "You seem to have improved a lot in the short time we weren't talking," Gerard's expression looks a little hurt and Frank hurries to correct himself, "Well, not improved, not that anything was wrong with you before, you just look.. healthier."

He blushes, shrugging, feeling anxious under Gerard's eyes.

Frank mumbles, "Maybe it'd just be better if I stayed away. You seem better off without me."

Gerard's hands land on his upper arms and he says, "Not better without you. Better for you."

Frank's face still feels warm and he walks forward into Gerard's arms, letting himself be held and snuggling up to Gerard. He says a simple, "Okay."

Then lips are meeting his and he whines softly, pulling Gerard down more. He's pushed to the wall, Gerard pinning him there with his hips. They part and Gerard looks down at him, "I still want you."

Frank lets out a breathless laugh and says, "Thank god."


	10. I’m Here

Gerard had never seen Frank cry until he returned to the guys after escaping to commit suicide. Frank cries fully, shaky with tears running freely down his face. He grasps onto Gerard and says, "You asshole. You're a selfish bastard and, god, I love you."

Gerard is frozen at Frank pulling him down into a salty kiss. The younger man's hands cup his face so carefully and he's so shaky against Gerard. They've never kissed off stage before. Frank kisses him again and again and again, hold on him tightening enough to bruise. Gerard pulls away with difficulty, "Frank- stop, it's okay."

Frank is shaking so badly and Gerard puts his arms around his waist.

Frank's hands fall and Gerard presses a somewhat sloppy kiss to his lips, "It's okay, Frankie, I'm here."

Then Frank's hands are raising again, arms wrapping around his neck and fingers tangling in his hair. And then he just holds him so tightly.


	11. Hands

Gerard likes Frank's hands, it's a known fact. Frank has been his best friend for what feels like his whole life. Originally Frank had been best friends with Mikey but Gerard had stolen him away before long.

So back to the hands thing. It's not like he's got an obsession or anything, he just likes how they feel. He doesn't even notice he's touching them most of the time. His hands just seem to find Frank's and he lets his soft fingertips rub against Frank's rough palms and fingers.

Frank doesn't seem to really mind, if he's talking then he doesn't pause for a second, it's as if he doesn't even notice. Which is expected since Gerard has been doing it forever. Eventually Frank will just intertwine their fingers and squeeze without breaking the conversation.

Gerard likes when he does that. Frank doesn't really have big hands and Gerard likes the way his own hand is so big in comparison. It's not really a romantic thing, just two dudes holding hands, as they do.

Frank can be going on about this girl he slept with the night before and Gerard just likes to zone out to the sound of his voice and the sight of their hands together. Well at least until Mikey comes in.

"Will you two stop being boyfriends in my bed? I'm trying to watch this movie."

Frank had been talking about this pretty blonde he has spent the night with, talking with bright eyes and their fingers tangled together. He looks over when Mikey interrupts him loudly, "Sorry sweetheart, I bet you wish I was taken, wanna fix that?"

Mikey rolls his eyes, "I'm taken, remember sweetheart?"

Frank smiles crookedly, "By me?"

"By Kristin."

Gerard hums, "Frankie couldn't win you over anyway."

Frank bites his lip, trying to hide his smile, "I mean, I'm sure I could."

Gerard taps Frank's temple, "You're straight, remember?"

Frank snorts and turns away, "Oh yeah, I forgot."

And Gerard is fine with that. He's fine with Frank being a straight guy that sleeps with girls all the time and holds his hand. He's okay with it, he really is.

Frank is gorgeous. Gerard thinks he likes everything about Frank, platonically likes of course, but Frank doesn't really. Frank doesn't like how he looks or how he smiles or how his hands are small compared to Gerard's or anything about himself really.

Which Gerard can't imagine because Frank is gorgeous, as previously stated. Platonically of course. And Gerard is always okay with Frank dropping by his house at every hour of the night, he doesn't really mind.

He'd much rather have a very drunk Frank safe with him rather than out walking around or in some bar somewhere. And Frank's cheeks get pink when he's drunk and his movements get sloppy and his lips get more pouty, which is a total bonus.

So when it's 3 in the morning and Gerard's up drawing, he really doesn't mind the knock on the door.

He walks to the door and opens it, being greeted with Mikey holding Frank up by his shirt collar, "I got a free delivery for you, I'm here to give you your dumbass."

Frank smiles and waves, his cheeks rosy and darkening.

Mikey just shoves him forward and says, "Take care of him and make sure he doesn't get too loud, mom is sleeping upstairs."

Frank has gone crashing into Gerard's chest, who flinches when Mikey slams the door. Gerard swears, "You okay Frankie?"

Frank takes a step back, "Just drunk as fuck."

Gerard blinks, "I could tell."

Frank presses his fingers to his temples, "I've got a headache already, Gee."

Gerard hums, "Okay, let me clean off my bed and then you can sleep, okay?"

Frank smiles a little in response and Gerard works on getting everything off his bed and onto the floor. Frank tries to make his way over, he really does, but he stumbles and falls. He frowns, practically pouting on the floor.

Gerard simply scoops him up bridal style and Frank mumbles a weak, "Fuck, you're the only person I'd let get away with carrying me."

Gerard tucks him in before leaving to get a glass of water. He sets it on his nightstand for when Frank wakes up before he's turning off the lights and climbing into bed with Frank.

Frank has already, in that short time, sprawled out and fallen asleep. Gerard simply moves him, making Frank open his eyes sleepily and say a quiet, "Gee?"

"Yeah?"

Frank already looks more than half asleep again and mumbles a soft, "I think I'm Bisexual."

That confession totally blew Gerard's mind. Because he has no idea where the bisexual thing even came from. He doesn't have a problem with it of course, he's not straight himself, but Frank didn't even mention guys in that way to him at all.

It seemed totally random. Frank had apologized in the morning, blushed and said that it was the alcohol talking. But it was obvious that it wasn't and that Frank was nervous because he had his arms wrapped around himself protectively.

Gerard simply put his hands over Frank's and said, "Frankie, you know I love you no matter what. You don't have to worry about telling me stuff like that, if you really meant it. I'll always accept you."

Frank's expression softens and he mumbles a quiet, "Thank you, I needed that."

Gerard nods, "Of course. Well, let me know if you have any questions or anything."

Frank blushes and smiles, "I don't need to ask you questions, I know how everything works."

Gerard raises his eyebrows, "Oh, you've been experimenting?"

Frank shrugs, "A few blowjobs."

"Oh. To or from?"

Frank shakes his head, "Well I'm not going to say."

Gerard wrinkles his nose, "Last night?"

Frank nods slowly.

Gerard gasps, "And I slept in the same bed as you, that's so gross."

But Frank is an odd person. Mikey groans loudly when he sees that Frank bought Gerard a whole bunch of roses for his birthday. The short man is smiling sheepishly when he says, "They're for Gee."

Mikey lets him in, calling for his older brother while Frank holds the flowers rather awkwardly. His face seems to be permanently scarlet and his smile is shy. Gerard nearly drops his cup of coffee when he sees Frank in the kitchen with the roses in his hand, "What the fuck?"

Frank says a soft, "They're for you. For your birthday."

And Gerard just stares at him, totally blank faced for a second in surprise, processing the fact that Frank got him flowers. Then he blushes, "Help me find a vase?"

Mikey sighs, "I'm leaving."

The roses are beautiful and Gerard can't take his eyes off of them. Frank smirks slightly, "No thank you?"

Gerard sets his coffee on the counter, "I um, sorry I'm in shock. Thank you but who the fuck are you and what did you do to Frankie?"

Frank groans dramatically, "I can't do something nice for you on your birthday?"

Gerard tugs Frank forward by the front of his hoodie, pressing a kiss to his cheek, "Thank you, they're beautiful."

Frank smiles happily at that, setting the roses down so they can find a vase. Once the roses have been settled into the vase they simply stare at it.

Gerard hums, "So why roses?"

Frank shrugs, "I've never seen anybody give you flowers before. And you like pretty things, I figured you'd enjoy them."

"Oh."

And Frank just holds his hand. Gerard is suspicious that something more is going on but he squeezes Frank's hand anyway. It's on a different day that Gerard is alerted to a difference.

He had been sleeping and Frank was jumping on top of him, "Get up, it's almost 4pm and I've got beer for us to drink."

Gerard swats at him, "I'm tired Frankie, another time."

Frank has stopped moving on top of him, voice a bit more whining, "But I thought we could drink beer and talk about boys like normal best friends."

Gerard rubs his eyes, "Boys?"

Frank hums, looking down at him and smiling crookedly, "Yeah, like ones we think are cute and stuff. Cheesy stuff, I need some of that right now."

Frank is sat on him and Gerard grabs him in a tight hug before turning them over, preventing Frank's escape.

The younger boy squirms, with a soft, "Gee, what are you doing?"

Gerard hums, eyes closing and simply squishing Frank, "Five more minutes."

"I'm not spending five minutes underneath you, you're hurting me."

Gerard hums, shifting his weight, "Sorry."

And their hips are pushed together, and usually that's not weird, but Frank's legs seem to spread almost absentmindedly to adjust.

And their eyes meet before Gerard smiles, nose wrinkling cutely, and teases softly, "Bottom."

Frank huffs out a breath, cheeks turning pink, letting his head fall back, "Motherfucker."

Gerard hums, fingers inching down to tangle with Frank's. He drags the younger boy's hands up to be on either side of his head, pinning him. Frank's blush deepens but Gerard simply smiles down at him easily, "So, got any boys you like?"

Frank smiles in a somewhat awkward way, "Not currently."

"Me neither."

They just stare at each other blankly at that statement. Gerard gasps when Frank leans up and their lips brush. It's soft and shy, Frank's lips soft and his chapped. The younger boy lets his hands go, running them through Gerard's hair instead, pulling him closer.

Then Frank's hands and lips leave him. They're breathless, looking at each other with wide eyes. The boy below him says a quiet, "I'm sorry. I just wanted to know how it feels."

Gerard hums, smiling a little, "It's okay."

Frank presses his palms to the redhead's shoulders and pushes, "I should go."

Gerard frowns, "You don't have to."

Frank just looks at him firmly, "I should go."

"Don't. Don't go."

But Gerard moves off him anyway, obeying his wish to leave. Frank gets up, "I'll see you later."

"But you can see me now."

Frank starts walking and Gerard grabs him by his waist to stop him, and the younger boy turns so their eyes meet.

"Can you just talk to me for one goddamn second, jeez Frank."

Frank makes a noise that sounds frustrated but still so very quiet, pressing their lips together again, just for a second, "I don't want to talk."

Gerard pulls him a bit closer, "Then we won't talk."

Frank hums, "I should really go.."

He pushes away at that, fleeing out of the house quickly, brushing past Mikey without a word. Gerard doesn't quite know what to do then so he lets Frank go.

The next time they see each other again is a week later. Frank is over to hang out with Mikey. And Gerard has a guy over. Couldn't be worse timing really.

The guy is leaving already, Gerard walking him to the door, the two of them still pressed together and smiling and kissing. The redhead doesn't even know Frank is over.

He only knows when they walk into the living room and Frank is with Mikey on the couch. And Gerard tenses because Frank has this weird look on his face before he looks down at his hands to hide it.

Gerard just says a simple, "I didn't know you were here."

Frank remarks a sharp, "Yeah, I noticed."

"Fuck, give me a second."

Gerard hurriedly walks the guy to the door before he's entering the living room again.

He lingers in the doorway, nervous, "What are you doing here?"

Frank has his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pressed together, "Hanging out with Mikey."

Mikey looks between them, "Did you two get in a fight or something?"

Frank stands, keeping his eyes trained to the floor carefully, "No. I think I'm going to go, I don't feel good."

Gerard hums, "Need a ride?"

Frank says a bitter, "Not from you."

And then Frank is pushing past him roughly, slamming the front door behind him. Mikey looks at Gerard, "What was that?"

The redhead frowns, "I, um, I'll be back."

He follows after Frank, leaving Mikey baffled.

"Frank, wait up!"

Gerard catches up to him easily, grabbing his shoulder, making Frank shrug his hand off, "Don't fucking touch me."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, I thought that kiss meant nothing. You made it seem like nothing."

Frank puts his hands in his pockets, "You're not sorry. I don't do shit like that to you, you already know that. It meant nothing to you? Seemed like nothing?"

Gerard frowns, "You rushed out the door even after I asked you to stay. What the fuck do you want from me, Frank? You act like you don't care."

Frank squares his shoulders and stops walking, "I fucking care. I do. Things are just confusing for me, okay?"

Gerard stops too, looking at him, "What is there to be confused about?"

Frank frowns, "This isn't some shitty romance movie or something. You're not going to sweep me off my feet and I'm going to be instantly all over you."

Gerard frowns back, "But I want you to be instantly all over me."

"Too bad."

And there's the ghost of a smile on Frank's face. Gerard smiles a little, "Okay. But can we please just be friends again at least? I'm dying without you, Frankie."

"Yeah," he seems to think about it for a second and then says a more firm, "Yeah."

Gerard holds out his hand and Frank grabs it, the two of them continuing to walk. They pass someone who gives them a nasty look at the sight of their hands together but they just ignore it.

They haven't really kissed since. And Gerard is practically dying to kiss Frank again. Frank had nearly hit him when he dragged him into a closet in his house, the two of them pressed together.

It was mostly to be hidden from sight for fear of being interrupted but them being so close was just a bonus. Gerard's hands slide up Frank's hoodie to rest on his waist.

Gerard loves Frank's waist, he loves how curvy it is and how Frank is a little chubby and how well his hands fit on it. He's never touched Frank's bare skin like this before, maybe a few times over his clothes but never under.

He leans close and Frank hums a soft, "What are you doing?"

Gerard presses his face into Frank's neck, "I.. Frank, how long do I have to hold back?"

"Hold back? I don't control you, Gee."

"Yeah but I respect your boundaries and if you don't want me to do anything that's not strictly friendly then I won't."

Frank hums, "What would happen if I allowed you to do whatever?"

Gerard squeezes his waist softly, "I don't know. Kissing, cuddling, sex, whatever."

Frank giggles, "Seems like too much."

"Have you ever dated anyone before?"

"You know I haven't, Gee."

Gerard's hands slide down, easily picking up Frank by the back of his thighs and pressing him to the wall in one smooth motion, "I really want to date you, Frank."

Frank's fingers tangle in his hair and he simply says, "Kiss me."

And Gerard does, claiming his lips finally.

Mikey nearly freaks out the first time he sees them kiss. They had been playing a video game with the younger Way in the living room. The game had been loading and Frank had given a little happy smile to Gerard, who smiled back easily.

And then Frank had just pecked his lips, leaning up so their lips could meet sweetly. Mikey's eyes go wide, "I didn't know you guys were actual boyfriends, I was just joking!"

Frank shrugs, "We're not boyfriends."

Gerard hums, pressing a kiss softly to Frank's temple, "It's complicated."

And it is complicated. But that's fine. But Gerard is constantly nervous about Frank's safety when he goes out drinking. But when Frank comes over, so very drunk, he seems otherwise unharmed.

Frank simply clutches onto Gerard's forearms, going on his toes to kiss the older boy. Their lips meet softly before Gerard is pulling away. His fingers find the bottom of Frank's shirt, which seems to have beer on it, before he's pulling it off, "Let's get you changed, Frankie."

Frank hums, smiling drunkenly, "Okay."

Gerard goes to retrieve some clothes he thinks might fit Frank. The younger boy lays on his bed, watching him. Gerard approaches him, clothes in hand, "Jeans too please."

Frank sighs, "I can't."

Gerard's hands pull him closer to the edge of the bed, beginning to undo his jeans, "Did you have a good time?"

Frank complies with him pulling off his tight jeans, "Yeah. I'd rather be here though."

"And why's that?"

Frank sits up and slips on Gerard's shirt, "You don't give me a headache."

Gerard goes to help him put on the shorts, "Well that's good at least."

Frank pushes the shorts away, "I don't want that. I'll sleep in this."

At that he's pulling the covers over himself before Gerard can protest. The redhead just turns off the lights, snuggling under the blankets as well. Frank is pressed against him within a few seconds, being the little spoon as Gerard curls around him.

Frank is warm and his skin is soft to the touch and Gerard finds himself pressing soft kisses to his neck. Frank hums, shifting back so he's even closer, "I really do want to date you, Gee."

"Then why don't you?"

Frank's voice gets softer, "I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"That you won't like me anymore if I do."

Gerard smiles against his skin, "I've been around you for years, you think dating is going to make me leave? I thought it was obvious that I'm going to be in your life forever, Frankie. I want to be."

Frank doesn't say anything more, simply grabbing his hand and squeezing it. In the morning, when Frank rolls over and groans due to his headache, he almost winces when a gentle hand strokes his hair out of his face lovingly.

The repeated motion of fingers through his hair seems to soothe his headache, and he makes a soft noise, allowing himself to slip back into sleep. He's waken up later by the lack of warmth beside him, blinking his eyes open and seeing that he's alone.

And he aches for Gerard, fingers spread out over where his best friend once was. His head aches when he stands and walks up the stairs, but it feels better when he spots the redhead in the kitchen.

Gerard's got this little smile on his face, coffee warming his hands as he seems to zone out in thought. Frank startles him out of it with a light touch on his waist as he heads right for the cabinet with the painkillers.

He takes them and when he turns around Gerard is oh so close to him. Their noses bump as the older boy kisses him. Frank smiles, "Good morning."

Gerard smiles back, "Good morning."

Frank kisses him again before humming softly and cupping his face to pull him in for a harder kiss. He almost groans, "Your coffee tastes delicious."

Gerard laughs softly, smile turning crooked, "You want some?"

Frank nods but his hands stay on Gerard's face, neither of them moving. The younger boy lets his thumb trace his best friend's smile, admiring the soft freckles on his face.

Gerard hums, "Frank?"

"Yeah?"

Gerard's smile falls a little, his eyes getting wider, "You've got to let me go if you want coffee."

"But I can just steal yours."

Gerard steps forward even more into his personal space, the two of them nearly against each other and he presses his face into Frank's neck. It's almost enough to make Frank's knees give out and he groans, not quite used to this treatment.

Gerard then presses the cup of coffee into his hands, "You can have my coffee anytime."

And Frank pulls away to kiss him sweetly, Gerard's thumb rubbing against his cheek lovingly, "Thank you."


End file.
